I live with an amazing rose garden. It is a gift from a couple of people – my mother and my husband. But not in the way you may think.
Every house I’ve lived in that became a home had a rose garden.
When I was growing up, my mother tended the rose bushes she’d planted around the house. Sometimes she tended to them carefully, pruned them, fertilized them, and cut the gorgeous blooms to bring inside.
Other times, when she was too sick to go outside, they would grow despite the neglect. They still flourished in a wild short of way.
Roses are hearty. They grow no matter how they are treated.
Like people, they flourish best when they are nurtured, watered and fed.
And loved. Love is a very important ingredient.
My husband used to laugh at me when I said I tended the garden by just cruising through the garden; carefully noticing how each bush had grown, popped out new buds and then how the buds opened into those amazing blooms with the heady scents.
But I truly believe that the rose garden knew I was there showering it with love and noticing how it was doing.
Again, much like us, blooming when noticed and showered with love.
Roses and Romance
Roses have been the topic of countless poems from Shakespeare’s “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet” to Gertrude Stern’s “a rose is a rose is rose”.
Over the ages, many posts, William Blake, W. B. Yeats, Robert Burns, Dorothy Parker, to name a few, have written about the enigma called rose.
Not hard to grow, but they take attention and focus. If you aren’t careful, you will get pricked by the numerous thorns some of the bushes grow.
But through the ages, men and women have been in love with the rose. It has long been known as a symbol of love.
It still reminds me of the best parts of my mother. So it is easy to understand why today I am still fascinated by the rose.
Tending the Garden
I used to spend many a Sunday digging in the dirt in the rose garden.
There is nothing like digging in the dirt to feed the soul.
Then life got busy and I spent less and less time digging in the dirt, even though I still cruise by and say “how ya doing”?
And I promised: I’ll catch you on Sunday, but it didn’t happen often.
And then my husband retired and he started to ask me to show him how to tend the rose garden.
He had the time and the garden needed the attention.
You might think I was happy to let go. Happy to have him take the chore off my hands and assure my beloved garden was nurtured.
But, that didn’t happen, at first.
Have you ever had to let go of something that was important to you? That meant a lot to you?
That you knew NO ONE could do it as well as you could. No one could possibly care about it the way you did?
And if they did it, they wouldn’t do it right.
At least not your right.
That was my dilemma.
Yet, the garden was suffering ad I wasn’t able to give it the time and attention it needed.
The time and attention that allowed it to flourish at its best.
And my husband, George, who had the time, sincerely wanted to learn how to care for it.
And finally one day, almost in frustration (and jealousy, he had the time and I didn’t), I said fine, you can do it.
That started a journey for us. Me letting go of something that was near and dear to my heart and his journey of learning something new.
So fast forward to today. The rose garden is amazing.
Even though I have more time than in the past, he is still in charge of the rose garden.
In fact, it has become his pride and joy. I still get to cruise though it to savor the new growth, a new bud or flower as they pop open.
And he has developed a new skill and takes great pride in his garden.
What a shared delight this garden has become. A win win for both of us.
But, I had to let go and allow the two of us to grow.
I had to let go and allow him to do it his way. It wasn’t the way I did it, but the end result was magnificent.
Where in your life has that happened to you?
Where have you resisted letting go of something and deprived another person of an opportunity to increase their confidence, their experience and develop a new form of self-expression.
It is never easy letting go, especially of something you love; yet, what you get back in the end is something bigger than you ever imagined.
Try it, you might like it.
Letting go is self care
Letting go is a form of self care, especially when the stress of doing the task or chore, adds to the stress in your life.
If you would like to have a complimentary discovery call about improving your self care, click here.