Sheri here –
Do you remember your hope chest?
When I was in high school, a cedar hope chest was all the rage. I remember, the local Lane furniture distributor would send out a postcard to all the high school senior girls as a reminder to go and get their mini hope chest. I still have mine filled with all kinds of little keepsakes.
I had always longed for the larger full sized hope chest though, built with cedar wood to perfectly preserve the items. It was supposed to be the place you stored all things for that perfect married life relationship; all the essentials a young lady needed to start her first home like linens and fine china. These were the things sold as the dream to your happy future– the perfect way to start your new life.
My first home was a tiny apartment, where I lived for awhile as I worked my way through college. I had pieced together a few things for that one room apartment, complete with an even tinier kitchen, and a Murphy bed. I can still remember it.
In fact, I drove by it the other day on my way home from getting my covid vaccination at Dodger Stadium. That old apartment building built in the 1920s is still there. But, I digress.
I didn’t get married for the first time until I was 28. By that time, I had an established household. Yet, there was that lingering dream of that cedar hope chest. My head was still filled with the dreams of the things that I thought every new bride needed to have. I didn’t have those linens, crystal and fine china. I thought maybe it wasn’t meant to be.
Give Yourself Your Dreams
In fact, I didn’t get that crystal and china I had dreamed of until after I got divorced over a decade later– I gave that dream to myself. I gave it to myself because I felt that dream that I’d had for so long needed to be achieved. You can give yourself your own dreams – you don’t need a special occasion or someone else to fulfill your heart’s desire!
Accomplishing your goals is liberating when you free yourself from the expectations of others. Frustration is the gap between what people expect from you and who you are.
It’s ironic to think back to how those items were originally meant to be purchased with the anticipation of marriage and in the end, it was after my marriage ended that I give that gift to myself!
Know When to Let Go
The sad part is that since I’ve purchased the crystal and china, a complete place setting for twelve, I’ve used it less than a dozen times. Today, it sits inside the china closet taking up space, collecting dust. Now I’m looking at downsizing and thinking it’s time to let it go.
There’s no one I know of to pass it on to. China and crystal has become a dated tradition.
In my last blog, I talked about letting go of things that you don’t draw joy from anymore – you can read it here.
How do you let go of a dream that never happened? Something you wanted and worked toward for so long. Do you give up and scold yourself for being silly? Do you turn your back and walk away with sadness and despair, convinced you’ll never be happy?
All of those are possibilities, but maybe a better way is to give yourself some time to process – to say goodbye and move on. Accept the present as it is and to go on to build a bigger, better dream more relevant for today. Just saying…
Leave a comment below and share how you handle those old unfulfilled dreams.
Maybe you are wrestling with an unfulfilled dream and need a sounding board – give me a call and I can help talk you through it. Use this link and book a call.
Dream and revising our dreams are part of life – part of reinventing ourselves. Sometimes it is easier to reinvent ourselves than at other times. If you are looking some insight or some suggestions, feel free to reach out and let’s talk. Book a call here.
Til the next time…. ciao,