Relationships

Changing Relationships

Relationships

Sheri here,

Our relationships change as we change. If you are in a committed relationship you have two people affecting change.

Getting Married

When I got married almost 23 years ago, I somehow, naively thought that things would stay as they were – somehow frozen in time. I knew better because I’d been married before. That first marriage didn’t turnout as I’d hoped.

My current husband, George, also had been married previously. Before we got married we talked about what had gone wrong and we were certain we were different now and the results would be different in our relationship.

Yes, this was a different relationship, but we brought ourselves and things shifted.

We went back to work after getting married, our jobs transitioned and changed our relationship. I traveled a lot for work and coming home brought expectations: on my part, that I’d have time to recover from the travel and on his, that I’d be available for dedicated time. While we were both disappointed to an extent, we found a way through. We spent time together and we spent “me” time.

Relationships Change Gradually – Like Seasons

Relationships transition gradually, something like the annual seasons; but these are the seasons of our life. They are influenced by events and aging.

We got married in mid-life and after 23 years, a lot happens. We both retired from our Company jobs. George, retired years before I did, which had a major impact. Now I was the only one still working and subject to the stress of an everyday job and sometimes traveling.

We managed to find a way that worked for us, even though it took time to figure it out and lots of listening to one another.

Then I retired and that was another relationship change. I can’t be idle too long. I had a plan: to go back to school, to do pleasure travel, to knit endlessly, and to play in the garden. It worked for several years, then it shifted again as I opened my business. I loved it as I was meeting new people and doing new things. George not so much. He’s retirement plan was different, more alone time than I. Different is great if you are both happy.

Aging Impacts Relationships, Too

Then aging caught up with us and George began to experience the long-term consequences of his hypertension – kidney failure, then a kidney transplant and then came the impact on his eyes – an eye stroke and partial blindness. Along came a caregiver as other issues also crept in.

All that caused other impacts in our relationship – as these events do not happen in a vacuum. But we have managed to find our way, both as a couple and as two individuals.

Being Adaptable

Life is about being adaptable and that requires patience and a strong spiritual program. You can manage your way through anything if you are willing and can see the blessings in your life.

How about you? Have your relationships changed? Are you continuing to be willing to adapt? Or were the changes too much to overcome? Leave a comment and let me know what is going on with you.

Around Town

Two events are going on over the next several weeks: My workshop for dynamic professional women: 3 Keys to Radically Transform Your Life and Finances Tuesday October 25, 2022, 2pm PT. You won’t want to miss this if your life has shifted and you are uncomfortable or disturbed. You’ll discover life changing tools that will radically transform your current challenges into your greatest opportunities to thrive. Register here.

Secondly, an online launch for my book: Everything I Learned About Life I Learned on Vacation. Sunday October 30 at 4:00pm. Hosted by Marie Macagno, my writing coach. Join us for some fun, a book reading and Q&A about why and how the book got written. Here’s the zoom link.

Ciao,

Sheri

Make New Friends

Relationships

Sheri here –

We need to be willing to continue to nurture and grow our circle of friends. As I mentioned in The Five People Who Surround Us (Go here), we need to surround ourselves with people that support and nurture us.

I’ve had a number of long-time friends pass on. The older we get, unfortunately, the more that will happen. Have you experienced that loss, too?

Our lives are full of having known them, yet our heart may be sad and our lives less full.

What do we do? Stay in the sadness, not risking in expanding our circle once again? I think not!!

What about you?

Yet, how do we meet new people and nurture them to become part of our inner circle?

Make New Friends

Where do you find new friends?

Finding friends starts with the willingness to step outside your comfort zone, to step outside the comfortable, to step outside what you have known and done for a while.

Argh, not that, anything but that!

You made a decision – NOW you screw up your courage and you are willing to step out, what’s next – where do you go?

If you are an entrepreneur, you have lots of places to look. It can start with going to a new networking function or a meeting at the local chamber of commerce or even a business conference.

First say hello, stick out your hand, ask them their name and something about themselves.

You have started the getting acquainted part!

Stay in Touch

Next is the staying in touch part. Send them a note and tell them how nice it was to meet them and possibly suggest a follow up meeting.

Send them a note and tell them how nice it was to meet them and possibly suggest a follow up meeting.

Spend a little more time with them, long enough to determine if you feel connected, if the people you have met are people you want to spend time with or you want as your potential clients!

Ok, so you aren’t an entrepreneur, then what?

Try a new hobby. No matter what it is, whether you seek out a store with classes or look for an event somewhere to gather information – take a friend or go alone and explore. You never know who you might discover or find a new hobby for fun. If that doesn’t work, keep exploring.

Money Saving Tips

While you are discovering new adventures, these money saving tips could give you a little more money in your pocket for those new adventures!

  1. Wait for the annual or semi-annual sale to buy your intimate apparel
  2. Buy generic drugs or store brands for prescriptions and over-the-counter products. Look at the ingredients, they are generally identical to the brand name, frequently made by the same manufacturer, but at a lower cost!
  3. Get your brewed coffee at the convenience store, the Stop ‘n Go or 7/11 rather than the specialty brew, add some of the flavored creamer for extra flavor and pay a lower cost.
  4. Call your cable TV or satellite provider company and see if you can get it cheaper. Tell them you are evaluating their competitor, if that is an option!
  5. Shop for a lower interest rate on your home loan. If you have a mortgage broker you trust, check in with them periodically to see if rates have changed enough to refinance. Consider that you’ll need to recover the financing fees – the cost of getting the loan.

Drop a comment below and let us know if you are venturing outside your comfort to meet new friends and where you might need help!

Enjoy the adventure and meeting new friends!!

Ciao,
Sheri

P.S. If you’d like more money saving tips, get my “101 Ways to Save Money” – just click here!

 

The Five People Who Surround You

Relationships

Sheri here –

Jim Rohn, a motivational speaker said “you are the average of the 5 people that you spend the most time with”.  I’m not certain how I feel about that.  First, I don’t feel average, I choose to believe I am special – because I am ME.

What about you?  Does this resonate?  Were you uncomfortable when Jim Rohn implied you were average?  Or are you the one with a rich full life, the envy of your friends?

Why Are the People Surrounding Me So Important?

They allow me into their life, to cherish the special times, even the moments we spend together, to celebrate their victories, to learn from their experiences and to support them in times of loss. In return, they do the same for me.

We are all better for these types of relationships.  These rich relationships reflect the abundance in our lives because of the people around us.  And it isn’t necessarily limited to five people.

When I started looking around to see who I did spend my time with, I realized that the marvelous group had gotten smaller.  Smaller through attrition, some of those long-time great folks were starting to move onto the great beyond.

My heart is sad for their going, and my life is bigger for the knowing.

Expand Your Definition of Abundance

Abundance, prosperity and wealth come in more forms than just money; relationships are one of them.  Consider expanding your definition of abundance and your feeling of wealth!

While you are expanding your definition of abundance and wealth, use the following tips to start saving money.

  1. Sign up for all the loyalty programs (airline, hotel, and car) that are available to you.  These may be sources of free airline tickets, hotel rooms and car rentals.
  2. Instead of buying a new car, buy a pre-owned 2- or 3-year-old car.  The biggest drop in value happens during the first year (ok when you drive it off the lot).  Let someone else pay the higher price.
  3. Know your credit card due dates and make payments prior to those dates to avoid late fees.  If the due date is a problem, request a change in date.  Many times, the credit card company is willing to accommodate your needs.
  4. Reconsider, even stop completely, grocery and meal delivery services – avoid the delivery and tip fees.
  5. Do you need a new purse or briefcase (yes, some people still use them)?  Buy a higher quality bag and keep it longer, which will lower the cost in the long run.  Shop the thrift stores or discount apps to find a “gently” used high quality bag that meets your needs for a fraction of the price.

Until the next time – enjoy the prosperity and the feeling of abundance in all areas of your life.

Ciao,
Sheri

P.S. If you want immediate access to  “101 Ways to Save Money” just click here to download!

 

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