Self Care

The Power of the Pause

Sheri Here –

Sometimes you need to stop!  There is power in the pause.

Depending upon the situation, that pause can be 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, or 5 weeks.

Our world of instant communication can work for me or against me.

Stopping to collect my wits when I’m in a sticky spot, before I hit send is frequently a good idea.

If I pause, stop, and take a deep breath or two before I proceed, I might create no additional upset.

If I reconsider the note or text I was going to send and ask myself, is it the appropriate thing to be said, to be said by me, to be said by me now – I frequently prevent bigger, longer-term issues.

Maybe I need to wait a little longer to hit send or never send at all.

What I often found is that after a pause, I would reframe the note, soften the language and be more productive in my answer.  Plus, avoid hurt feelings or need to do damage control, later.

HALT – Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired

HALT, an acronym for Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired – is a great reminder to STOP, halt, if you are any ONE of those things.  What my experience has been is poor decisions or actions follow, if I don’t take care of the underlying problem first.

In a situation, where I am hungry, angry, lonely, OR tired I can get real grumpy.  The next person I see is likely to get their head bitten off for no apparent reason.

I’ve had my husband George ask me a question, and my response be, “I think I need to eat before I answer.”  After I’ve eaten something nutritious – doesn’t have to be a huge meal, I’m more rational and will give him the answer that’s a reasonable response.

Longer Pause – Vacation

Other times, I need to take a longer break, a time away, a long weekend, or a vacation to completely disconnect.  After that I’m recharged and return with a new perspective on life – either you love it and feel blessed or you realize you need a change of some kind.

Not long ago, I visited my sister in Arizona, for a week.  When I left I was rushed and hassled by the small everyday stuff.

The drive in the open spaces crossing the desert from Los Angeles, was meditative.  Sleeping in, walks, a massage, and working on a couple of projects together was different than my day-to-day activities.  When I returned home, I was refreshed and ready to “Take the Next Indicated Step” – see my blog on the next indicated action here.  I experienced, the power of the pause!

How about you?  When was the last time you felt the power of the pause? Or HALTed? Or that you rewarded yourself with time away?  Maybe you don’t believe you can afford the time or money or that you deserve it – let’s talk!  Hit reply or call me here  and we’ll figure it out.

There is a solution for a break for everyone.  Let’s discover it together.

‘til the next time.

Ciao,

Sheri

P.S. Hitting the pause button sometimes takes courage.  If you need a compassionate ear with possible solutions, schedule a call with me here.

Pandemic, Politics, Blue Moons and Mercury in Retrograde

Sheri here –

Whew, so relieved that emotionally charged grand slam of a global pandemic, politics, blue moons, and Mercury in retrograde is subsiding. Sorta.

I don’t know about you, but I’m emotionally drained – tapped out, from those events.  In addition, COVID-19 continues its wave of fear and anxiety about loved ones who are sick or suffering with mental illness, increased reports of domestic violence and child abuse, along with isolation and loneliness.

While there is still more emotion lurking with the aftermath, the COVID-19 news and the holidays quickly approaching, now more than ever it is vital that you be gentle with yourself and others. Self-care couldn’t be more important than ever.

So exercise self-compassion, hold few expectations and be kind to yourself and others. No, I don’t think you’re a saint – merely a gentle soul who’s been battered by the times and needs a break! Even just a short one — how about a nap?

November is the Month of Thanksgiving

Only you can give you a break. Sure, you might need the support of others, but no one’s going to give you a break but you! Thus, the recommendations of self-care, compassion, gentleness and kindness.

Resist overindulging in food, drink or spending. Coping with stress and anxiety in healthy ways will help make you, the people you care about and your community stronger. You will thank yourself later!

Speaking of giving thanks, November is the month of Thanksgiving. Look around, there are many things for which to give thanks.

While this year’s holiday times may be different than in the past, you can find creative ways to connect with folks near and far. For example, you can schedule a virtual coffee date with a different friend each week, Facetime with family and friends all over the world, and network across different communities virtually via Zoom or Google Meet.

Be Kind Toward Yourself and Others

What creative things have you come up with so far?? Drop a comment below and share the ideas.

When you are out and about, share a friendly wave of hello as many times smiles are not visible behind masks. Be kind toward yourself and others – you never know what challenges people are dealing with.

While you may not be able to relieve their stress, you can avoid adding to it. Compassion for yourself and others plus regular self-care are regal companions to thankfulness.

Pamper yourself lavishly with kind thoughts and gentle deeds. Create an environment where you and others can find some relief from the high emotions of the last weeks and months.

A kind deed, a helping hand, a gracious heart can help some of the healing to begin. It starts with you… Live life in new ways with no regrets (share some of those new ways in the comments below).

‘Til the next time…

Ciao,
Sheri

P.S. If you are feeling a bit down and would like something to change things – download my free eBook, “3 Steps to Reinvent You: Go from Stuck to Excited & Fulfilled.”

Setting Your Boundaries!

Sheri here –

Last week, I talked about “just say no” in my last blog (see blog here); but, saying no when other people aren’t accustomed to you setting your boundaries is hard. Saying no is easier when you have boundaries.

When I get uncomfortable about saying “No”, I know I need to look at whether I have appropriate boundaries in place.

Do you have good boundaries in place? If so, high five and take a victory lap!

What are boundaries?

Boundaries are like the white lines on a tennis court. They set the area where the game gets played.

If a tennis ball goes outside the line, it is out of bounds. Each player is responsible for calling a ball out on their side of the net.

In personal boundary setting, it is the court where your life takes place. You are responsible for setting and enforcing the boundaries!

Setting your boundaries is letting others know how you choose to be treated.

Sometimes easier said than done, eh?!

Why does this matter?

Ever notice how you use your boundaries in everything you do? What you eat, how you spend money, who you spend time with, how you define healthy relationships, how long you tolerate toxic situations, how you treat your body. The list goes on.

Your boundaries teach others how to treat you.

When you feel people are pushing you around or violating your boundaries, it is because you haven’t called a boundary fault.

You can’t call a boundary fault, if there is no boundary.

Boundary setting is a skill.

How do you set boundaries?

Some general guidelines for setting your boundaries:

  • Paint the boundary lines for yourself and others.
  • Advise others of the boundaries, what is or is not acceptable.
  • Call something out of bounds when it occurs.
  • Observe your own boundaries.
  • Apply your boundaries consistently.

Sounds easy when you say it fast! Each of these items are worthy of an in-depth discussion of their own.

If you weren’t taught how to set boundaries or you were taught your boundaries didn’t matter, then setting boundaries is a challenge. This is where you might need some help. Send me an email and we’ll connect for next steps!

Ciao,

Sheri

P.S. How about you? Are you skilled with setting boundaries? Or do you have a way to go. Need some help? Reach out and send me a note here and we’ll figure out next steps together!

A Rose is A Rose is A Rose

A Rose is A Rose is a Rose

I live with an amazing rose garden. It is a gift from a couple of people – my mother and my husband. But not in the way you may think.

Every house I’ve lived in that became a home had a rose garden.

When I was growing up, my mother tended the rose bushes she’d planted around the house.  Sometimes she tended  to them carefully, pruned them, fertilized them, and cut the gorgeous blooms to bring inside.

Other times, when she was too sick to go outside, they would grow despite the neglect. …

Hermosa Beach Lifeguard Stand

Small Acts of Self Care

I had that Corporate Finance dream job.  I felt I was making a difference in my organization and that the work I was doing mattered.

But, I was on the road sometimes three out of every four weeks a month for at least four days a week.

I was beginning to feel as if my personal life was slipping away, on hold for my career and my personal happiness was on a downward spiral.

I said, ENOUGH.  I made a decision to start setting boundaries and to reclaim myself, …

3D-NOBG_
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