Self Care

What’s Up with You?

Self Care

Sheri here,

Last week my newsletter was about preparing for the holidays, primarily about budgets – time and money.  I also included a bit about attitude.

This week I’d like to chat a bit more about holiday attitudes.  We have almost 90 days until New Year’s Day – the official end to the holiday season.  That’s a fairly long time if your attitude is suffering.

Holidays are Hard for Some

Some people really have a hard time at the holidays.  It could be the first year without someone or the anniversary of an event that was unhappy or sad.

If you find yourself in that category, be gentle with yourself, exercise self-compassion.  Don’t overextend yourself.  Maybe pick a couple of low-key events with a couple of friends and show up and find joy in the moment.

I learned a long time ago, that sadness and joy could co-exist.  It may seem like a travesty, especially if you are processing fresh grief.  But it is possible to experience both.

In fact, the sadness, the darkness supports us in understanding how special, how blessed experiencing joy can be.  They are 2 sides to the same coin.

Some Solutions to the Blues

Maybe massive decorations are too much – but what about one pumpkin or some fall flowers?  Some candy for the trick or treaters.

Try a walk around a craft store, it gets you out and shows you some of the possibilities of the season.

You don’t need to do any of them, except take in the festivities, the possibilities of the season.

Just hold that possibility door open – you may not see anything that calls you to take it home; but the bright colors and fun decorations are a lot of fun and a great potential to change your attitude to just a little cheerier.

If Sadness Continues – Seek Help

If the sadness continues, if it gets too bad and persists for too long, seek help.  There are mental health specialists that can chat with you and support you in treating a serious case of the blues.

That’s ok – we’ve all had them at one time or another and it passes – just like the holidays.

My wish for you is that you find delight and happiness in the season; that you can hear the laughter of children and appreciate the joy of the season.

Drop me a note – leave a comment below and let me know where you are this year.  Would love to hear from you whether you are happy or otherwise.

Me? I’m enjoying seeing the decorations and planning some special treats for those around me.  My hope for you is the same.

Around town

My book, Everything I Learned About Life I Learned on Vacation is now available for sale on Amazon – you can buy it here – enjoy both the book and the season!

Have a blessed week.

Ciao,

Sheri

Ode to a Nap

Ode to a Nap

Self Care

Sheri here,

Here it is September, the Fall of the year and life is getting really busy.

I have a friend who says their year starts in September, a throwback to school, even as an adult, and they aren’t an educator. I’ve not thought of a year starting with school in quite some time.

The End of the Year is Around the Corner!

Now, it is a quick march to Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and the other December holidays and New Year’s Eve. In my opinion, once we hit October, the calendar flip is around the corner.

Since I finished the writing part of my book, Everything I Learned About Life I Learned on Vacation, my life accelerated. I started the promotion and suddenly things that I had forgotten about seemed to jump into hyper mode.

During a time like this, I need to be very careful, because one of the first things that goes for me is self-care, taking care of me.

Self-Care – Daily Routines

What I’m talking about when I say self-care are those daily morning and evening patterns:

  • connecting with your Higher Power or God;
  • taking care of your needs;
  • assuring adequate nutritious food;
  • preparing for the day;
  • performing a gratitude practice; and
  • getting enough good sleep.

I’ve had a gratitude practice for decades, and I am grateful for my rich full life today, just slow it down a tad. Of course, there is that whole concept of being careful what you ask for, you just might get it, in an unexpected form.

For more information about a gratitude practice and World Gratitude Day, September 21 of every year, see my blog post Celebrating Gratitude and A Challenge.

Put Your Oxygen Mask on First

Self-care is where you put your oxygen mask on first. No one else can do this for you and you cannot help another person if you are deprived of sleep, good food, or self-care.

In some self-care routines, you can enlist someone else to assist you, a nice spa treatment for example, or a cup of tea or coffee with a friend. These rituals could be a special reward for completing some goal, large or small, or just part of your regular routine. You get to choose.

Remember those preventive care doctor appointments, the check-ups with the dentist, vaccinations, annual tests, etc. They also need to be scheduled and attended.

Self-care Is Mandatory

I know I need to be reminded sometimes. I really try to look at my self-care practices as mandatory.

These routines are as important as something like loving our family, supporting our friends or our community, but none of those are available without looking after ourselves, first.

Some of these may need to be squeezed in between the spaces of other activities, but this an important part of personal self-care.

We can support our loved ones in getting some of these routines done. You can support them, but not do it for them, just like they can’t do these rituals for you. Maybe we attend them together, but we have to do them individually!

This is the part of life that happens or needs to happen, while you are planning other things.

If you don’t take care of yourself, no one else will do it for you.

How about you? What do you think, do you agree, have a comment or appreciate the reminder? Leave a comment and let me know.

Around Town

My Everything I Learned About Life I Learned on Vacation book is still in prepublication sale. Publication is targeted for October. If you’d like to take advantage of the special gift of the second book for only $5, just go here!

Thank you to all of you who have already support this effort – big virtual hug!

Have a blessed week.

Ciao,

Sheri

Self Care – If Not You, Then Who

Self Care

Sheri here,

Here it is September, the Fall of the year and life is getting really busy.

I have a friend who says their year starts in September, a throwback to school, even as an adult, and they aren’t an educator. I’ve not thought of a year starting with school in quite some time.

The End of the Year is Around the Corner!

Now, it is a quick march to Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and the other December holidays and New Year’s Eve. In my opinion, once we hit October, the calendar flip is around the corner.

Since I finished the writing part of my book, Everything I Learned About Life I Learned on Vacation, my life accelerated. I started the promotion and suddenly things that I had forgotten about seemed to jump into hyper mode.

During a time like this, I need to be very careful, because one of the first things that goes for me is self-care, taking care of me.

Self-Care – Daily Routines 

What I’m talking about when I say self-care are those daily morning and evening patterns:

  • connecting with your Higher Power or God;
  • taking care of your needs;
  • assuring adequate nutritious food;
  • preparing for the day;
  • performing a gratitude practice; and
  • getting enough good sleep.

I’ve had a gratitude practice for decades, and I am grateful for my rich full life today, just slow it down a tad. Of course, there is that whole concept of being careful what you ask for, you just might get it, in an unexpected form.

For more information about a gratitude practice and World Gratitude Day, September 21 of every year, see my blog post Celebrating Gratitude and A Challenge.

Put Your Oxygen Mask on First

Self-care is where you put your oxygen mask on first. No one else can do this for you and you cannot help another person if you are deprived of sleep, good food, or self-care.

In some self-care routines, you can enlist someone else to assist you, a nice spa treatment for example, or a cup of tea or coffee with a friend. These rituals could be a special reward for completing some goal, large or small, or just part of your regular routine. You get to choose.

Remember those preventive care doctor appointments, the check-ups with the dentist, vaccinations, annual tests, etc. They also need to be scheduled and attended.

Self-care Is Mandatory 

I know I need to be reminded sometimes. I really try to look at my self-care practices as mandatory.

These routines are as important as something like loving our family, supporting our friends or our community, but none of those are available without looking after ourselves, first.

Some of these may need to be squeezed in between the spaces of other activities, but this an important part of personal self-care.

We can support our loved ones in getting some of these routines done. You can support them, but not do it for them, just like they can’t do these rituals for you. Maybe we attend them together, but we have to do them individually!

This is the part of life that happens or needs to happen, while you are planning other things.

If you don’t take care of yourself, no one else will do it for you.

How about you? What do you think, do you agree, have a comment or appreciate the reminder? Leave a comment and let me know.

Around Town

My Everything I Learned About Life I Learned on Vacation book is still in prepublication sale. Publication is targeted for October. If you’d like to take advantage of the special gift of the second book for only $5, just go here!

Thank you to all of you who have already support this effort – big virtual hug!

Have a blessed week.

Ciao,

Sheri

Retreating is Succeeding

Self Care

Sheri here,

This weekend I’m off to a spiritual retreat with several close friends. It’s being held at the Serra Retreat in Malibu – one of my favorite serene places in the city.  The views of the ocean and the Malibu Hills are wonderful and restorative.

Walking the Labyrinth for Mediation

In addition, to the retreat sessions, I plan to spend a little bit of time in the labyrinth, a circular maze structure, outlined with flat small rocks or bricks.  The experience of walking through it is like a moving meditation.

Whenever I’ve brought a problem or an issue to my walk, before I leave, I have an intuitive insight as to either a solution or a next step.  I’ll then followed my walk through the labyrinth with some journaling, which has many of the same benefits as the labyrinth, except it is in writing.

Retreats Replenish Our Spirit

If you know me, you know that I love retreats and the time spent replenishing my spirit – see my Blog post “Retreat and Refresh.”  If you don’t know me well, yet, you’ll discover I attend at least a couple retreats every year.  This weekend will be my third so far in this year.

During the pandemic I attended retreats virtually.  They are different but depending upon how clever the team is putting on the event. It can generate many of the same benefits as an in person event.

My intention for the weekend is to restore my spirit and strengthen my relationship with my Higher Power.  This supports me coming back refreshed and focused on the important priorities of my business and my life.

Digital Free Time

I’m also striving to have a digital free time while I’m there.  This is the first time in several years that I’ve tried to do that.  As for many of you, my smartphone is not only my phone, but it is my entertainment – reading, communication with friends and games, my camera, and my email reader. I google everything – definitions, abstract facts, baseball scores, you name it.

Disconnecting will also support my intentions of the weekend.

This will be an interesting experiment; can I manage 48 hours without using my smartphone. Can you?

The Book Status

And the book?  Everything I Learned About Life I Learned on Vacation was sent off to the copy and line editor this week for review.  A good portion of this review is to assure spelling, grammar, punctuation are correct and consistent throughout and wordiness is kept to a minimum.  In a couple weeks, my manuscript will be returned, and I’ll get to make some more changes.

There is so much more to writing a book than the writing part.  This has been an educational process.  If you’d like to be on the wait list, you may sign-up here!

May you have a blessed week.

Ciao,

Sheri

The Power of the Pause

Self Care

Sheri Here –

Sometimes you need to stop!  There is power in the pause.

Depending upon the situation, that pause can be 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, or 5 weeks.

Our world of instant communication can work for me or against me.

Stopping to collect my wits when I’m in a sticky spot, before I hit send is frequently a good idea.

If I pause, stop, and take a deep breath or two before I proceed, I might create no additional upset.

If I reconsider the note or text I was going to send and ask myself, is it the appropriate thing to be said, to be said by me, to be said by me now – I frequently prevent bigger, longer-term issues.

Maybe I need to wait a little longer to hit send or never send at all.

What I often found is that after a pause, I would reframe the note, soften the language and be more productive in my answer.  Plus, avoid hurt feelings or need to do damage control, later.

HALT – Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired

HALT, an acronym for Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired – is a great reminder to STOP, halt, if you are any ONE of those things.  What my experience has been is poor decisions or actions follow, if I don’t take care of the underlying problem first.

In a situation, where I am hungry, angry, lonely, OR tired I can get real grumpy.  The next person I see is likely to get their head bitten off for no apparent reason.

I’ve had my husband George ask me a question, and my response be, “I think I need to eat before I answer.”  After I’ve eaten something nutritious – doesn’t have to be a huge meal, I’m more rational and will give him the answer that’s a reasonable response.

Longer Pause – Vacation

Other times, I need to take a longer break, a time away, a long weekend, or a vacation to completely disconnect.  After that I’m recharged and return with a new perspective on life – either you love it and feel blessed or you realize you need a change of some kind.

Not long ago, I visited my sister in Arizona, for a week.  When I left I was rushed and hassled by the small everyday stuff.

The drive in the open spaces crossing the desert from Los Angeles, was meditative.  Sleeping in, walks, a massage, and working on a couple of projects together was different than my day-to-day activities.  When I returned home, I was refreshed and ready to “Take the Next Indicated Step” – see my blog on the next indicated action here.  I experienced, the power of the pause!

How about you?  When was the last time you felt the power of the pause? Or HALTed? Or that you rewarded yourself with time away?  Maybe you don’t believe you can afford the time or money or that you deserve it – let’s talk!  Hit reply or call me here  and we’ll figure it out.

There is a solution for a break for everyone.  Let’s discover it together.

‘til the next time.

Ciao,

Sheri

P.S. Hitting the pause button sometimes takes courage.  If you need a compassionate ear with possible solutions, schedule a call with me here.

Pandemic, Politics, Blue Moons and Mercury in Retrograde

Self Care

Sheri here –

Whew, so relieved that emotionally charged grand slam of a global pandemic, politics, blue moons, and Mercury in retrograde is subsiding. Sorta.

I don’t know about you, but I’m emotionally drained – tapped out, from those events.  In addition, COVID-19 continues its wave of fear and anxiety about loved ones who are sick or suffering with mental illness, increased reports of domestic violence and child abuse, along with isolation and loneliness.

While there is still more emotion lurking with the aftermath, the COVID-19 news and the holidays quickly approaching, now more than ever it is vital that you be gentle with yourself and others. Self-care couldn’t be more important than ever.

So exercise self-compassion, hold few expectations and be kind to yourself and others. No, I don’t think you’re a saint – merely a gentle soul who’s been battered by the times and needs a break! Even just a short one — how about a nap?

November is the Month of Thanksgiving

Only you can give you a break. Sure, you might need the support of others, but no one’s going to give you a break but you! Thus, the recommendations of self-care, compassion, gentleness and kindness.

Resist overindulging in food, drink or spending. Coping with stress and anxiety in healthy ways will help make you, the people you care about and your community stronger. You will thank yourself later!

Speaking of giving thanks, November is the month of Thanksgiving. Look around, there are many things for which to give thanks.

While this year’s holiday times may be different than in the past, you can find creative ways to connect with folks near and far. For example, you can schedule a virtual coffee date with a different friend each week, Facetime with family and friends all over the world, and network across different communities virtually via Zoom or Google Meet.

Be Kind Toward Yourself and Others

What creative things have you come up with so far?? Drop a comment below and share the ideas.

When you are out and about, share a friendly wave of hello as many times smiles are not visible behind masks. Be kind toward yourself and others – you never know what challenges people are dealing with.

While you may not be able to relieve their stress, you can avoid adding to it. Compassion for yourself and others plus regular self-care are regal companions to thankfulness.

Pamper yourself lavishly with kind thoughts and gentle deeds. Create an environment where you and others can find some relief from the high emotions of the last weeks and months.

A kind deed, a helping hand, a gracious heart can help some of the healing to begin. It starts with you… Live life in new ways with no regrets (share some of those new ways in the comments below).

‘Til the next time…

Ciao,
Sheri

P.S. If you are feeling a bit down and would like something to change things – download my free eBook, “3 Steps to Reinvent You: Go from Stuck to Excited & Fulfilled.”

Setting Your Boundaries!

Self Care

Sheri here –

Last week, I talked about “just say no” in my last blog (see blog here); but, saying no when other people aren’t accustomed to you setting your boundaries is hard. Saying no is easier when you have boundaries.

When I get uncomfortable about saying “No”, I know I need to look at whether I have appropriate boundaries in place.

Do you have good boundaries in place? If so, high five and take a victory lap!

What are boundaries?

Boundaries are like the white lines on a tennis court. They set the area where the game gets played.

If a tennis ball goes outside the line, it is out of bounds. Each player is responsible for calling a ball out on their side of the net.

In personal boundary setting, it is the court where your life takes place. You are responsible for setting and enforcing the boundaries!

Setting your boundaries is letting others know how you choose to be treated.

Sometimes easier said than done, eh?!

Why does this matter?

Ever notice how you use your boundaries in everything you do? What you eat, how you spend money, who you spend time with, how you define healthy relationships, how long you tolerate toxic situations, how you treat your body. The list goes on.

Your boundaries teach others how to treat you.

When you feel people are pushing you around or violating your boundaries, it is because you haven’t called a boundary fault.

You can’t call a boundary fault, if there is no boundary.

Boundary setting is a skill.

How do you set boundaries?

Some general guidelines for setting your boundaries:

  • Paint the boundary lines for yourself and others.
  • Advise others of the boundaries, what is or is not acceptable.
  • Call something out of bounds when it occurs.
  • Observe your own boundaries.
  • Apply your boundaries consistently.

Sounds easy when you say it fast! Each of these items are worthy of an in-depth discussion of their own.

If you weren’t taught how to set boundaries or you were taught your boundaries didn’t matter, then setting boundaries is a challenge. This is where you might need some help. Send me an email and we’ll connect for next steps!

Ciao,

Sheri

P.S. How about you? Are you skilled with setting boundaries? Or do you have a way to go. Need some help? Reach out and send me a note here and we’ll figure out next steps together!

A Rose is A Rose is A Rose

A Rose is A Rose is a Rose

Self Care

I live with an amazing rose garden. It is a gift from a couple of people – my mother and my husband. But not in the way you may think.

Every house I’ve lived in that became a home had a rose garden.

When I was growing up, my mother tended the rose bushes she’d planted around the house.  Sometimes she tended  to them carefully, pruned them, fertilized them, and cut the gorgeous blooms to bring inside.

Other times, when she was too sick to go outside, they would grow despite the neglect. …

A Rose is A Rose is a RoseRead More »

Hermosa Beach Lifeguard Stand

Small Acts of Self Care

1 Comment / Self Care

I had that Corporate Finance dream job.  I felt I was making a difference in my organization and that the work I was doing mattered.

But, I was on the road sometimes three out of every four weeks a month for at least four days a week.

I was beginning to feel as if my personal life was slipping away, on hold for my career and my personal happiness was on a downward spiral.

I said, ENOUGH.  I made a decision to start setting boundaries and to reclaim myself, …

Small Acts of Self CareRead More »

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