I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been stopped by fear, that fierce, fiery Dragon. My initial reaction did not include fighting the fear!
I’ve heard FEAR was the acronym for a couple of different things:
- False Evidence Appearing Real
- Forget Everything And Run
I know there are more; but you get the idea.
That old fight or flight instinct is one that we are hard wired with from our ancestors.
I Felt Like a Fraud
I think the the more you do in life, the more opportunities you have for a huge life and the more encounters you have with fear.
My first job out of college was as an auditor working for one of the big CPA firms.
I remember I had a client who came to me as their “expert” in deal with certain audit problems.
The details of their problem aren’t important, but my feelings, and my reactions are.
As I was assigned as their auditor, their expert, I was expected to help them solve this problem.
I barely had worn the shine off the tools in my brief case, let alone mastered the answers.
I was terrified. I felt like a fraud.
I felt like I was playing dress-up in a grown up world. And I knew I was going to get found out!
I wanted to run away and hide.
But, somehow I squeaked out: “Let me look into it and I’ll get back to you”.
When I finally began to breathe again, I did what I had been trained to do: I documented the conversation, laid out the facts and did a little research.
Then I asked for help from someone who had more experience.
In turn, I got information, did more research, reviewed that result with a more experienced person and FINALLY, went back to the client with an answer they could rely on.
Problem solved, the Dragon, fear, defeated!
Once I faced and slew that Dragon, I came out with a new confidence, new tools and more experience to rely on and share with others.
Battling the Dragon
I’m not saying I haven’t gotten knocked on my butt a couple of times by the Dragon. I have, but most times, I’ve gotten up and continued battling.
In any event, when I spend time alone in my head with the situation that scares me, I’m usually paralyzed and have a great difficulty moving.
I’m talking laying in bed, covers pulled over my head, in the dark, paralyzed, not moving.
I have a choice today when the Dragon appears and so do you.
One solution to battling that fierce, fiery Dragon, fear, is the process I used to solve my client’s problem, with one BIG change: Start by asking your source (your Higher Power, your God, the Universe, your Angels) for help to guide your thinking at the start.
While you may start out terrified and want to run away, try a different approach:
- Ask your source for help;
- Lay out the facts and data, pros and cons as appropriate;
- Get help from a knowledgeable person, don’t tackle it alone;
- Do the required work;
- Walk through it and emerge on the other side of the battle with that Dragon, fear, victorious; and
- Celebrate your victory.
But, it takes a certain amount of courage to take those steps, to ask for help and not turn and run and hide.
Engage your source, whatever you call them, ask for help.
Another key help step is to enlist the assistance and information from the RIGHT person or persons. That could include anyone from a trusted friend, spouse, spiritual advisor, therapist, coach, doctor or attorney.
When you take those first steps to work through your fear, it isn’t easy, it isn’t emotionally painless, and it isn’t instantly resolved; but the fear begins to loosen its grip.
Then you need to do the required work.
After the battle is over and you look back, after you celebrate, you will be amazed at what you did and learned.
You may discover, that what made you fearful looked bigger and scarier than it really was.
You now have experience to share with someone else who is battling that fierce, fiery Dragon.
No matter what, when you look the Dragon in the face, you are changed.
If you need help with the process, the first step or want to have a conversation, about the Dragon slaying process, leave a comment, send me an email at [email protected], or book a call with me here.