Our relationships change as we change. If you are in a committed relationship you have two people affecting change.
When I got married almost 23 years ago, I somehow, naively thought that things would stay as they were – somehow frozen in time. I knew better because I’d been married before. That first marriage didn’t turnout as I’d hoped.
My current husband, George, also had been married previously. Before we got married we talked about what had gone wrong and we were certain we were different now and the results would be different in our relationship.
Yes, this was a different relationship, but we brought ourselves and things shifted.
We went back to work after getting married, our jobs transitioned and changed our relationship. I traveled a lot for work and coming home brought expectations: on my part, that I’d have time to recover from the travel and on his, that I’d be available for dedicated time. While we were both disappointed to an extent, we found a way through. We spent time together and we spent “me” time.
Relationships Change Gradually – Like Seasons
Relationships transition gradually, something like the annual seasons; but these are the seasons of our life. They are influenced by events and aging.
We got married in mid-life and after 23 years, a lot happens. We both retired from our Company jobs. George, retired years before I did, which had a major impact. Now I was the only one still working and subject to the stress of an everyday job and sometimes traveling.
We managed to find a way that worked for us, even though it took time to figure it out and lots of listening to one another.
Then I retired and that was another relationship change. I can’t be idle too long. I had a plan: to go back to school, to do pleasure travel, to knit endlessly, and to play in the garden. It worked for several years, then it shifted again as I opened my business. I loved it as I was meeting new people and doing new things. George not so much. He’s retirement plan was different, more alone time than I. Different is great if you are both happy.
Aging Impacts Relationships, Too
Then aging caught up with us and George began to experience the long-term consequences of his hypertension – kidney failure, then a kidney transplant and then came the impact on his eyes – an eye stroke and partial blindness. Along came a caregiver as other issues also crept in.
All that caused other impacts in our relationship – as these events do not happen in a vacuum. But we have managed to find our way, both as a couple and as two individuals.
Life is about being adaptable and that requires patience and a strong spiritual program. You can manage your way through anything if you are willing and can see the blessings in your life.
How about you? Have your relationships changed? Are you continuing to be willing to adapt? Or were the changes too much to overcome? Leave a comment and let me know what is going on with you.
Two events are going on over the next several weeks: My workshop for dynamic professional women: 3 Keys to Radically Transform Your Life and Finances Tuesday October 25, 2022, 2pm PT. You won’t want to miss this if your life has shifted and you are uncomfortable or disturbed. You’ll discover life changing tools that will radically transform your current challenges into your greatest opportunities to thrive. Register here.
Secondly, an online launch for my book: Everything I Learned About Life I Learned on Vacation. Sunday October 30 at 4:00pm. Hosted by Marie Macagno, my writing coach. Join us for some fun, a book reading and Q&A about why and how the book got written. Here’s the zoom link.