Dreams

The Next Indicated Step

Goals

Sheri Here,

Choosing the next indicated step – all too often we have so many things to choose from that just leave us confused, spinning and overwhelmed.

How do you choose what’s next?

Often there is a clear path to our objective if we listen carefully to our heart, intuition, or inner self.

Maybe there is a clear path and it’s easy – just take the first step.  Sometimes it’s not easy.  Sometimes the options are limited, and we are stuck with one or two choices.

So, what is the next indicated step in that circumstance?

Stop and look at your primary objective…

And decide what will move the objective the quickest or logically the next step.

That is where you go! Simple, eh? Choosing the step might be simple or hard and so might the action.

The action itself might take tenacity to perform – just go for it! Screw up your courage and move one step, one small step for you.

It will change your life.

Sometimes we are stopped from taking the step…

And then we berate ourselves for being wimps or cowards.  We lose faith in ourselves.

This is the time for self-compassion.  To be loving and kind to our sensitive self.  To give ourselves permission to be human.

Take a step back and consider an alternative that is palatable to reduce that sense of procrastination and inaction. A little step, another little step and another add up over time.

Slow and steady wins the race.  Remember the fable about the tortoise and the hare!

If you are still stuck, hit reply, and fill me in or schedule a call here.

‘til the next time.

Ciao,

Sheri

What’s on Your Bucket List?

Goals

Sheri Here,

Spring is the season of new beginnings, a clean house and creative projects. Those fabulous projects from your bucket list.

How do you start that bucket list?

That list of things that you want to do – that your psyche craves doing.  Not that to do list of things that you have to do daily.

That creative list could be taking a class, a project around the house like painting or a vacation to an exotic or fun spot. Yes, it is verrrry different than a “to do” list.

That bucket list is a list of dreams that you have, some of them could have been on the list for a while, and that’s ok.

I’ve had “visit all seven continents” on my list for decades – it takes time to fulfill that kind of dream. They are certainly bigger than just today’s agenda; however, some tasks toward getting there could be on that to do list.  I’ve got renew my passport on mine.

But long before they can become today’s focus, they are a figment of our imagination.

Where does the bucket list come from?

Creating it requires giving ourselves space in the course of the day to free our mind from the daily tasks.  It could be in your meditation, walking or morning pages.  It might even be a thought as you are spring cleaning, such as getting a housekeeper to do your cleaning for you.

If you write morning pages, the three daily pages suggested by Julia Cameron in the Artist Way, maybe the thought popped onto the page larger than life.

If you are not currently giving yourself space to clear your mind for a time and maybe daydream or imagine a bit, it is time you do that.  Mental space for yourself doesn’t have to take long, you just need to do it. It will help save your sanity.

Have you ever created a vision board?

A vision board is a visual picture of some of the elements in your bucket list.  If you don’t have one and want to find out more about creating a personal vision – pop over to my blog I Can See for Miles – Visioning  to discover a little more.

A vision or a vision board could be another way of generating your bucket list.  No matter how you do it, it is an important tool to creating a future for yourself that pulls you forward.

Why do a bucket list?

When the days are filled with the activities of the must do to do list, you can look past it to a future that will move you through the tough or ho hum times.  We all need something to get through those “I don’t want to” times.

I’ve been working on my TEDx speech about how people spend more time planning their vacations than they spend planning their lives.  This activity has been an element on my bucket list.  It’s been work and daydreaming.  As I picture how it will be, I know I need to do the work to make it become reality.

That’s how a bucket list works: first a dream, then the action: persistence to make the dream real.  But without the vision, you don’t know where you are going, let alone where to start.

How’s Your Bucket List?

What about you?  How’s your bucket list, your vision, or the board with it posted in front of you?  Is it alive and well or is it a bit hazy, tattered, neglected or non-existent? Time to refresh it, take it out and dust it off or maybe create one.  You are never too old to have dreams.  If you have accomplished all of them, then it is time to replenish the supply!

Need help to prime the pump and get started?  Drop me a note by hitting reply or give me a call here.

‘til the next time.

Ciao,

Sheri

P.S. You can get my book Everything I Learned About Life I Learned on Vacation here.

Take Contrary Action

Actions

Sheri Here –

What? Are you kidding me?  Last blog I talked about taking the next indicated step – see Take the Next Indicated Action – now I’m saying take contrary action.

You want me to make up my mind and get my story straight?

Ah, but the two work hand in hand.  How do I explain that exactly?

Contrary Action

Well sometimes, my brain says NO when I need to say YES, or STOP when I need to say GO.  All too often, I’ll find myself in paralysis because I don’t want to do what I know I really, really, really need to do.

For instance, I’ve been doing my best to eat more healthy, maybe you can relate.  But the  cookies are calling my name.  When I start to get a desire to have something, I can reach for a piece of fruit instead of the cookies.

Not having cookies in the house would be best, but I’m not the only one who lives here.  I know I can take the contrary action to not pick up the cookies.

I’m also looking to do some public speaking gigs to promote my book and my business; but my mind says STOP, I’m afraid to do public speaking and my heart says YES, I love it.  It’s not easy, I’ve got to take the contrary action route which also includes doing the next indicated step, like writing and practicing my speech!

Why Does Contrary Action Matter?

What difference does it make?  When I’m trying to reach a goal, many things can get in my way – mostly what’s between my two ears.  I can be stopped by procrastination – that was last week’s trick – or self sabotage.  That’s when taking the contrary action is important, that IS the next indicated step!

I bet I’m not the only one who is out there with these crazy thoughts in my head.  Sometimes having others acknowledge they too have the same thinking gives you the courage to go take the next indicated action even though your fear says NO.  Your stepping out and doing it any way is what’s important.

Leave a comment and tell me your most recent instance of not letting the fear or procrastination or self-sabotage stop you.  If you’d prefer to chat, go ahead and book a call here  and let’s talk.

‘til the next time.

Ciao,

Sheri

P.S. Taking contrary action takes courage.  Feel free to place a call and find an accountability buddy.  Book a call here.

Cedar Chests, China & Crystal

Letting Go

Sheri here –

Do you remember your hope chest?

When I was in high school, a cedar hope chest was all the rage. I remember, the local Lane furniture distributor would send out a postcard to all the high school senior girls as a reminder to go and get their mini hope chest. I still have mine filled with all kinds of little keepsakes.

I had always longed for the larger full sized hope chest though, built with cedar wood to perfectly preserve the items. It was supposed to be the place you stored all things for that perfect married life relationship; all the essentials a young lady needed to start her first home like linens and fine china. These were the things sold as the dream to your happy future– the perfect way to start your new life.

My first home was a tiny apartment, where I lived for awhile as I worked my way through college. I had pieced together a few things for that one room apartment, complete with an even tinier kitchen, and a Murphy bed. I can still remember it. 

In fact, I drove by it the other day on my way home from getting my covid vaccination at Dodger Stadium. That old apartment building built in the 1920s is still there. But, I digress.

I didn’t get married for the first time until I was 28. By that time, I had an established household. Yet, there was that lingering dream of that cedar hope chest. My head was still filled with the dreams of the things that I thought every new bride needed to have. I didn’t have those linens, crystal and fine china. I thought maybe it wasn’t meant to be.

Give Yourself Your Dreams

In fact, I didn’t get that crystal and china I had dreamed of until after I got divorced over a decade later– I gave that dream to myself. I gave it to myself because I felt that dream that I’d had for so long needed to be achieved. You can give yourself your own dreams – you don’t need a special occasion or someone else to fulfill your heart’s desire!

Accomplishing your goals is liberating when you free yourself from the expectations of others. Frustration is the gap between what people expect from you and who you are.

It’s ironic to think back to how those items were originally meant to be purchased with the anticipation of marriage and in the end, it was after my marriage ended that I give that gift to myself!

Know When to Let Go

The sad part is that since I’ve purchased the crystal and china, a complete place setting for twelve, I’ve used it less than a dozen times. Today, it sits inside the china closet taking up space, collecting dust. Now I’m looking at downsizing and thinking it’s time to let it go. 

There’s no one I know of to pass it on to. China and crystal has become a dated tradition.

In my last blog, I talked about letting go of things that you don’t draw joy from anymore – you can read it here. 

How do you let go of a dream that never happened? Something you wanted and worked toward for so long. Do you give up and scold yourself for being silly? Do you turn your back and walk away with sadness and despair, convinced you’ll never be happy? 

All of those are possibilities, but maybe a better way is to give yourself some time to process – to say goodbye and move on. Accept the present as it is and to go on to build a bigger, better dream more relevant for today. Just saying…

Leave a comment below and share how you handle those old unfulfilled dreams. 

Maybe you are wrestling with an unfulfilled dream and need a sounding board – give me a call and I can help talk you through it. Use this link and book a call.

Dream and revising our dreams are part of life – part of reinventing ourselves.  Sometimes it is easier to reinvent ourselves than at other times.  If you are looking some insight or some suggestions, feel free to reach out and let’s talk.  Book a call here.

Til the next time…. ciao,

Sheri

Venturing Outside Your Comfort Zone

Venturing Outside Your Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

Sheri here –

Unfortunately, a couple of weeks ago, I injured my right arm. Thankfully, nothing is broken, only a sprain and some pulled tendons. However, it not only changed the way I deal with everything but also prompted me to look at the way, I deal with discomfort.

Because I’m right-handed, I have to rely on my left hand… and it hasn’t been easy! Have you ever used a mouse with your opposite hand? Do you know how disorienting it is? Unbelievably.

Turn Challenges into Opportunities

So, I could approach this situation in one of two ways. I could see it as a roadblock that stops me in my tracks. Or, I could see it as an opportunity to learn something.

First, I had to recognize and embrace my feelings – sadness, frustration, and helplessness. Acknowledging the way I felt allowed me to transform my hopefully, short term disability into something more fruitful.

Life is a continuous succession of both small and large problems. It’s how we handle and recover from them that matters.

All of us have the freedom to choose the level of determination and effort we bring to every moment. We chose how we look at things. How we approach an obstacle determines how daunting we make it.

I have watched myself struggle. And in other ways, I question whether everything I’m doing is really necessary. Are there easier ways? Are there different ways to do what I have always done?

Discomfort Leads to Growth

A state of desperation could be the catalyst that sparks your ingenuity to help you move through a difficult situation in an optimal way.

See your adversities as advantages. Each difficult moment is a learning moment in its own right.

In my case, it’s driven me to embrace a vocal use of technology (which is how I’m compiling this blog). Okay, maybe you’ve been doing that forever. I haven’t!

My past experience has shown me that if I try and push through something like an injury, it takes me twice as long to recover. It’s not about pushing through the situation; it’s about adapting and not letting the situation deter you.

Here I am, trying not to feel sorry for myself but looking at ways to use the lessons I’ve learned in the past about being outside my comfort zone.

Your Dream is Not Inside Your Comfort Zone!

The place outside of your comfort zone is a place where real magic happens!

The problem starts when you get complacent. When this happens, you stop striving to achieve your goals – you stop challenging yourself.

As you start a new year, you may have created new goals, which leads you to venture outside your comfort zone.

One of my mentors Bri Seeley has said “Your dream is not inside your comfort zone.” Which means we must get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been spending the better part of this last year being uncomfortable!

To cope, I’ve relied on prayer, meditation and journaling until injuring my hand. But what else do you do to get comfortable with being uncomfortable?

What have you been doing to support yourself in this time outside your comfort zone? What are the tools that you are using to support you?

Are you sharing those feelings of discomfort with your besties?

Are you looking for new and different ways to do things?

Are you looking at the possibility of opportunity?

What are you doing?

I’d love to hear, because I could use some new tools and some new ideas. Leave a comment below and let me know!

After all, if you have a vision of any size you’re going to be spending a lot of time venturing outside your comfort zone!

‘til the next time…
Ciao,

Sheri

Hit Your Goal Reset Button

Goals

Sheri here –

Ok, 2020 has already been a year or two long with everything that has happened. Most of it wasn’t in our plan!

The good news is that you can reset your plans. You can start where you are and redefine your goals to still make major headway on your goals and plans – your dreams.

Create SMARTER Goals

New Years resolutions are always low on my list because they almost always get abandoned early in the year.

Earlier this year, I posted a blog about creating SMARTER goals, instead of resolutions. You can check it out here.

When I’m having a bad day, I will frequently start the day over. That’s right, start the day over, even if it is late afternoon! Have you ever tried that?

You can do the same thing with your goals!

What do you want to do by the end of the year?

  • Lose 5 pounds? Maybe 10?
  • Pay off some debt?
  • Write a book?
  • Find a new job?
  • Heck, kick start your own business – live the “Laptop Lifestyle”?

Each of the goals you define, have their own first steps. Some may be more obvious than others.

One Step at a Time

These are all possible, but wishin’ don’t make it so. It takes a series of repeated action on your part.

Possible some new habits, new focus, new learning.

Small steps done regularly will take you a long way to reaching your goal.

Once you’ve set yourself some SMARTER goals (see blog here), then its up to you to take that first step.

For instance, if you want to lose 10 pounds, do one thing today toward that goal. That could include things like replacing that cookie with a piece of fruit, a walk around the block, finding a food plan and/or a health coach. (Need one, I know a couple I could recommend…)

Just one thing today, another one thing tomorrow. One foot in front of the other!

Celebrate, Celebrate, Celebrate!

Celebrate yourself – nooooo, not with food. Find something else, maybe a bouquet of flowers or a good book, or scented bath salts.

Celebrating yourself sends your subconscious mind a positive message. This allows you to acknowledge yourself. To give yourself positive reinforcement. Allows you to experience and express the gratitude that you have for the blessings in your life.

Ciao and hugs,

Sheri

P.S. Drop a comment below and let me know about your goals and how I can help!

Where Are Your Dreams, Now?

Dreams

Sheri here –

Life has shifted a great deal the last several months and then again, the last couple of weeks.

Priorities, desires, and goals have changed pretty dramatically too, for ALL of us.

Do YOU want the same things you wanted 6 months ago, or have you discovered new dreams?

Hope Takes Action

Hope was the subject of Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey’s most recent meditation series. One part of their meditation said “hope tells me anything can be transformed, but to make hope effective, takes action”.

I can only change myself, my attitude and my actions. I know changes in my attitude and actions creates room for others to change and grow.

What Do You Need To Change?

Recently, I found myself looking deep into my heart and asking what needed to change? Treating others with dignity and respect has always been important to me. But can I do more?

What has shifted in your heart? Some things may have stayed the same, but are you still focused on your life purpose?

How will you put the action into your hopes and dreams?

Before everything changed in 2020, it was easier to put off your dreams until someday. Now, it’s different, we’ve received several wake up calls.

What Action Can You Take?

Dreams come in all shapes and sizes – what are yours? What small step, what action can you take today toward that dream?

Maybe now is when you finally create your own business.

Or grow your business so that you can be of greater service and make a bigger positive impact on the world?

Or get more comfortable with a location-independent dream business that allows you to work from anywhere?

Position that dream business for success, get my complimentary ebook “10 Secrets for a Successful Business” by clicking HERE.
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Til the next time,

Ciao and hugs,

Sheri

P.S. Would love to hear how your dreams are doing now – leave a comment below.

Making Change – SMARTER Goals!

Goals

Sheri here –

Well here we are, well into the new year and a new decade. 

Did you decide where you were going to start?

Write SMARTER Goals

Did you write any SMARTER goals?  As I mentioned last week SMARTER is an acronym, which sets out the actions for goal setting:
S – Specific
M – Measurable
A – Achievable
R – Realistic
T – Time-Bound
E – Evaluate
R – Readjust

These have a higher success rate than New Year’s resolutions. 

Where to begin?  Frequently losing weight and reducing debt are two that are high on the list.

These both have a lot in common.  They require focus, intentionality, and tracking.

Goal Success Requires Focus; Maybe New Habits

With food, some of the best success rates that I’ve experienced have come with daily food tracking – either in an app such as My Fitness Pal or the old fashion, manual diary. 

The most important thing is to keep track of what you are eating, then followed by PLANNING what your food consumption will look like.

Oh my, does that sound like a lot of work or what.  Well, if you are just starting, yes, it is work, because you are changing patterns – creating a new habit.  Changing habits is frequently at the heart of weight loss and fitness.

Even the commitment to do exercise daily or 5 days a week may be a change in pattern for you.  I know it is for me.  It starts with desire and intentionality.  Being committed to achieving your goals, whether it is weight loss or just to feel better.

It does take effort.

Changing your spending patterns are much the same.  It takes a written plan (aka budget) and tracking your actual spending daily.
This can also be done using an app, manually on paper or even using a spreadsheet.  It takes a commitment to do the work to make a change.

As you track your daily spending, you get a LOT of information about how you spend money.  You may begin to see ways you could reduce what you spend – either in cash or on credit – and make real differences in your life.

Adopting new habits, no matter what they are – changes in eating, exercise or spending requires some dedicated focus.  It might also require a coach, a trainer or an accountability buddy. 

Change Requires Action

Many of our goals requires change. Wishin’ don’t make it so – changes require action.

Are you committed to change, thinking about it? 

What changes are you focused on making?  Share with us in the Facebook Group Reinventing You, just click here! 

Nothing changes until something changes.  It can be a dream, that becomes a goal, that becomes an action.  It can be one small step on a journey that will, over time, change your life.

Need some help – all you need to do is ask…

Ciao and hugs,

Sheri

P.S.   If you really want to change and you know you need some help, let’s talk, you can schedule some time to chat right here with this link.   

Resolutions – Not! Make Goals Instead!

Goals

Sheri here – 

Are you making New Year’s resolutions?  Don’t waste your time! 

What you say?  Don’t try to change?  Don’t try to improve yourself?
Only 8% of the people who make resolutions are successful – that is a pretty sad success rate!  Many don’t even survive the WEEK, let alone the month.

Make a Plan

I am not advocating that you don’t strive for personal growth or improvement.  But use a method that WORKS!

There are studies (well, purportedly, there are studies) that say 3% of Harvard grads that made written goals WITH A PLAN, made 10 times the money their fellow grads made who either had no goals or had goals with no plans.

Create Goals

So, as I said, don’t make New Years’ resolutions – make written goals with a plan!

I remember years ago when someone had told me about goals, I decided that I would write a set of goals that I wanted to achieve during my lifetime.

I spent quite a bit of time working on them.  I wrote them out.  I wrote out STRETCH goals, the kind that seemed possible but really stretched me. Life got busy.  The piece of paper with my goals got buried in the clutter of everyday life.

One day when I was moving, several years later, I came across the piece of paper and was stunned to see that I had already achieved a number of those goals.

Once again they got buried in the move and resurfaced again, years later.

This time, I realized that I had achieved every single one of those goals that I had written down.  They had been acting as a rudder for my actions over the years.

Make Them SMARTER Goals

I’ve become an advocate of goal setting.  But…I have discovered, there is a method to assuring greater success with your goals.

That method is setting SMARTER written goals.  What you say – SMARTER written goals?  What on earth is that?

It is an acronym, which sets out the actions.  Here ya go:
S – Specific
M – Measurable
A – Achievable
R – Realistic
T – Time-Bound
E – Evaluate
R – Readjust

So get a piece of paper and write out your SMARTER goals – not New Year’s resolutions!

Try it.  It might make the difference you have been looking for.

I’d love to hear your top 3 SMARTER goals for the year.  Share it with us in the Facebook Group Reinventing You, just click here!

Whether you write goals or not, spend a little time reflecting on the year, even the decade that is ending and dream a little about how you want next year to be.  Then, maybe write some goals!!

Have a safe, wonderful New Year’s celebration.

Sheri

P.S.  Ok, so you like the idea of written goals and how they could make your dreams more realizable, but you are still BAFFLED by SMARTER goals.  If you’d like some help, let’s talk, you can schedule some time to chat right here with this link.

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