Relationships

Setting Your Boundaries!

Sheri here –

Last week, I talked about “just say no” in my last blog (see blog here); but, saying no when other people aren’t accustomed to you setting your boundaries is hard. Saying no is easier when you have boundaries.

When I get uncomfortable about saying “No”, I know I need to look at whether I have appropriate boundaries in place.

Do you have good boundaries in place? If so, high five and take a victory lap!

What are boundaries?

Boundaries are like the white lines on a tennis court. They set the area where the game gets played.

If a tennis ball goes outside the line, it is out of bounds. Each player is responsible for calling a ball out on their side of the net.

In personal boundary setting, it is the court where your life takes place. You are responsible for setting and enforcing the boundaries!

Setting your boundaries is letting others know how you choose to be treated.

Sometimes easier said than done, eh?!

Why does this matter?

Ever notice how you use your boundaries in everything you do? What you eat, how you spend money, who you spend time with, how you define healthy relationships, how long you tolerate toxic situations, how you treat your body. The list goes on.

Your boundaries teach others how to treat you.

When you feel people are pushing you around or violating your boundaries, it is because you haven’t called a boundary fault.

You can’t call a boundary fault, if there is no boundary.

Boundary setting is a skill.

How do you set boundaries?

Some general guidelines for setting your boundaries:

  • Paint the boundary lines for yourself and others.
  • Advise others of the boundaries, what is or is not acceptable.
  • Call something out of bounds when it occurs.
  • Observe your own boundaries.
  • Apply your boundaries consistently.

Sounds easy when you say it fast! Each of these items are worthy of an in-depth discussion of their own.

If you weren’t taught how to set boundaries or you were taught your boundaries didn’t matter, then setting boundaries is a challenge. This is where you might need some help. Send me an email and we’ll connect for next steps!

Ciao,

Sheri

P.S. How about you? Are you skilled with setting boundaries? Or do you have a way to go. Need some help? Reach out and send me a note here and we’ll figure out next steps together!

Holidays – Happy or Sad?

Sheri here –

Thanksgiving is when we get to spend time with friends and family and enjoy wonderful food.  This is also a time we reminisce about the old times.

Some of those old times may not be so great.  We tend to have high expectations of how the holidays should be.

Yet, life happens, and it has no regard for the holidays.

Sad Memories Maybe Part of the Holidays

You may, like me, have some sad memories of things that happened at this time of year.  My Dad passed away about ten years ago at the end of October and that holiday season was overshadowed by the missing of a loved one.

Yet, the rest of the family was together, and we did laugh and giggle about some of the previous times.

You too might have had something similar, a loved one ill or facing a serious situation.  

This time of year may evoke those sad memories.  Yet, we don’t need to be overwhelmed by them.  Rather, we can use this time of year as an opportunity to cherish the good memories with those no longer with us.

We can cherish the old times and also create new traditions, spend time with the rest of the family, invite friends, have an orphan Thanksgiving or join some new friends to do something different.

As I’ve mentioned before, during this season of Thanksgiving, spend some time at dinner and focus on the good stuff.  Share the things in your life that you are grateful for, the blessings.  Feel the glow of good feelings as you enjoy the good food.

When we focus on the blessings in our life, we fill our life with love, happiness and hope.  What a great gift (and it’s free!!).

Maybe spend a little time after dinner watching football and reading the Black Friday ads.

Black Friday Money Saving Tips

To help with the Black Friday adventures, here are a couple more tips to go easy on your pocketbook:

  1. Spend time with the Black Friday ads, make your choices and be intentional about your purchases.
  2. Eat before you go shopping, so you aren’t hungry and possibly make poor decisions.
  3. Be kind to those around you who are also in the store, bring your holiday cheerful self.

Just as an added refresher, here are the Black Friday shopping tips from last week:

  1. Decide on your budget before you start and stick to it!
  2. Spend cash or use your debit card and avoid building credit card debt.
  3. Make a list of what you are looking for and the people you are shopping for.

Want more money saving tips?  Check out my “101 Ways to Saving Money” – just click here.

Have a wonderful time with family and friends.  Happy Thanksgiving.

Ciao,

Sheri

Make New Friends

Sheri here –

We need to be willing to continue to nurture and grow our circle of friends. As I mentioned in The Five People Who Surround Us (Go here), we need to surround ourselves with people that support and nurture us.

I’ve had a number of long-time friends pass on. The older we get, unfortunately, the more that will happen. Have you experienced that loss, too?

Our lives are full of having known them, yet our heart may be sad and our lives less full.

What do we do? Stay in the sadness, not risking in expanding our circle once again? I think not!!

What about you?

Yet, how do we meet new people and nurture them to become part of our inner circle?

Make New Friends

Where do you find new friends?

Finding friends starts with the willingness to step outside your comfort zone, to step outside the comfortable, to step outside what you have known and done for a while.

Argh, not that, anything but that!

You made a decision – NOW you screw up your courage and you are willing to step out, what’s next – where do you go?

If you are an entrepreneur, you have lots of places to look. It can start with going to a new networking function or a meeting at the local chamber of commerce or even a business conference.

First say hello, stick out your hand, ask them their name and something about themselves.

You have started the getting acquainted part!

Stay in Touch

Next is the staying in touch part. Send them a note and tell them how nice it was to meet them and possibly suggest a follow up meeting.

Send them a note and tell them how nice it was to meet them and possibly suggest a follow up meeting.

Spend a little more time with them, long enough to determine if you feel connected, if the people you have met are people you want to spend time with or you want as your potential clients!

Ok, so you aren’t an entrepreneur, then what?

Try a new hobby. No matter what it is, whether you seek out a store with classes or look for an event somewhere to gather information – take a friend or go alone and explore. You never know who you might discover or find a new hobby for fun. If that doesn’t work, keep exploring.

Money Saving Tips

While you are discovering new adventures, these money saving tips could give you a little more money in your pocket for those new adventures!

  1. Wait for the annual or semi-annual sale to buy your intimate apparel
  2. Buy generic drugs or store brands for prescriptions and over-the-counter products. Look at the ingredients, they are generally identical to the brand name, frequently made by the same manufacturer, but at a lower cost!
  3. Get your brewed coffee at the convenience store, the Stop ‘n Go or 7/11 rather than the specialty brew, add some of the flavored creamer for extra flavor and pay a lower cost.
  4. Call your cable TV or satellite provider company and see if you can get it cheaper. Tell them you are evaluating their competitor, if that is an option!
  5. Shop for a lower interest rate on your home loan. If you have a mortgage broker you trust, check in with them periodically to see if rates have changed enough to refinance. Consider that you’ll need to recover the financing fees – the cost of getting the loan.

Drop a comment below and let us know if you are venturing outside your comfort to meet new friends and where you might need help!

Enjoy the adventure and meeting new friends!!

Ciao,
Sheri

P.S. If you’d like more money saving tips, get my “101 Ways to Save Money” – just click here!

 

The Five People Who Surround You

Sheri here –

Jim Rohn, a motivational speaker said “you are the average of the 5 people that you spend the most time with”.  I’m not certain how I feel about that.  First, I don’t feel average, I choose to believe I am special – because I am ME.

What about you?  Does this resonate?  Were you uncomfortable when Jim Rohn implied you were average?  Or are you the one with a rich full life, the envy of your friends?

Why Are the People Surrounding Me So Important?

They allow me into their life, to cherish the special times, even the moments we spend together, to celebrate their victories, to learn from their experiences and to support them in times of loss. In return, they do the same for me.

We are all better for these types of relationships.  These rich relationships reflect the abundance in our lives because of the people around us.  And it isn’t necessarily limited to five people.

When I started looking around to see who I did spend my time with, I realized that the marvelous group had gotten smaller.  Smaller through attrition, some of those long-time great folks were starting to move onto the great beyond.

My heart is sad for their going, and my life is bigger for the knowing.

Expand Your Definition of Abundance

Abundance, prosperity and wealth come in more forms than just money; relationships are one of them.  Consider expanding your definition of abundance and your feeling of wealth!

While you are expanding your definition of abundance and wealth, use the following tips to start saving money.

  1. Sign up for all the loyalty programs (airline, hotel, and car) that are available to you.  These may be sources of free airline tickets, hotel rooms and car rentals.
  2. Instead of buying a new car, buy a pre-owned 2- or 3-year-old car.  The biggest drop in value happens during the first year (ok when you drive it off the lot).  Let someone else pay the higher price.
  3. Know your credit card due dates and make payments prior to those dates to avoid late fees.  If the due date is a problem, request a change in date.  Many times, the credit card company is willing to accommodate your needs.
  4. Reconsider, even stop completely, grocery and meal delivery services – avoid the delivery and tip fees.
  5. Do you need a new purse or briefcase (yes, some people still use them)?  Buy a higher quality bag and keep it longer, which will lower the cost in the long run.  Shop the thrift stores or discount apps to find a “gently” used high quality bag that meets your needs for a fraction of the price.

Until the next time – enjoy the prosperity and the feeling of abundance in all areas of your life.

Ciao,
Sheri

P.S. If you want immediate access to  “101 Ways to Save Money” just click here to download!

 

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