Self-Care

Venturing Outside Your Comfort Zone

Venturing Outside Your Comfort Zone

Sheri here –

Unfortunately, a couple of weeks ago, I injured my right arm. Thankfully, nothing is broken, only a sprain and some pulled tendons. However, it not only changed the way I deal with everything but also prompted me to look at the way, I deal with discomfort.

Because I’m right-handed, I have to rely on my left hand… and it hasn’t been easy! Have you ever used a mouse with your opposite hand? Do you know how disorienting it is? Unbelievably.

Turn Challenges into Opportunities

So, I could approach this situation in one of two ways. I could see it as a roadblock that stops me in my tracks. Or, I could see it as an opportunity to learn something.

First, I had to recognize and embrace my feelings – sadness, frustration, and helplessness. Acknowledging the way I felt allowed me to transform my hopefully, short term disability into something more fruitful.

Life is a continuous succession of both small and large problems. It’s how we handle and recover from them that matters.

All of us have the freedom to choose the level of determination and effort we bring to every moment. We chose how we look at things. How we approach an obstacle determines how daunting we make it.

I have watched myself struggle. And in other ways, I question whether everything I’m doing is really necessary. Are there easier ways? Are there different ways to do what I have always done?

Discomfort Leads to Growth

A state of desperation could be the catalyst that sparks your ingenuity to help you move through a difficult situation in an optimal way.

See your adversities as advantages. Each difficult moment is a learning moment in its own right.

In my case, it’s driven me to embrace a vocal use of technology (which is how I’m compiling this blog). Okay, maybe you’ve been doing that forever. I haven’t!

My past experience has shown me that if I try and push through something like an injury, it takes me twice as long to recover. It’s not about pushing through the situation; it’s about adapting and not letting the situation deter you.

Here I am, trying not to feel sorry for myself but looking at ways to use the lessons I’ve learned in the past about being outside my comfort zone.

Your Dream is Not Inside Your Comfort Zone!

The place outside of your comfort zone is a place where real magic happens!

The problem starts when you get complacent. When this happens, you stop striving to achieve your goals – you stop challenging yourself.

As you start a new year, you may have created new goals, which leads you to venture outside your comfort zone.

One of my mentors Bri Seeley has said “Your dream is not inside your comfort zone.” Which means we must get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been spending the better part of this last year being uncomfortable!

To cope, I’ve relied on prayer, meditation and journaling until injuring my hand. But what else do you do to get comfortable with being uncomfortable?

What have you been doing to support yourself in this time outside your comfort zone? What are the tools that you are using to support you?

Are you sharing those feelings of discomfort with your besties?

Are you looking for new and different ways to do things?

Are you looking at the possibility of opportunity?

What are you doing?

I’d love to hear, because I could use some new tools and some new ideas. Leave a comment below and let me know!

After all, if you have a vision of any size you’re going to be spending a lot of time venturing outside your comfort zone!

‘til the next time…
Ciao,

Sheri

Let’s Finish the Year STRONG

Sheri here –

There is still time to finish STRONG for the year!

If you set goals, now is the time to review your progress against them and tweak them to make 2020 amazing, unusual but still amazing!

Not Too Late to Set Goals

Ok, so the year turned out unlike anything you planned or even could have imagined!!

Were you able to do a course correction and do something extraordinary in these crazy times?

Not too late – reviewing your goals or setting new ones can be an excellent support tool for you.

While goals are frequently considered start of the year activities, you can make and begin goals anytime. I wrote a couple of blogs (here) and (here) if you’d like more information on the “HOW to” part of goal setting.

It’s never too late or too early to set goals.

And once they are set, you can readjust them, even deliberately put them on the shelf. The important thing is to keep working goals that align with your dreams.

Review Your Progress on Your Goals

The beginning of a quarter is a great time to review progress on your goals.

Generally, at least quarterly I go back and relook at my goals and see how I’m doing. If I’m making great progress, then I put a little stretch into it. If I’m lagging behind, I may reset the goal to keep myself motivated.

No matter what, I keep working on them.

One of the goals that I’ve made every year for about the last 5 years has been to lose weight. And over the last 5 years, I’ve probably lost and kept off about 35 pounds, including during this crazy covid year.

When I decided 5 years ago to set a weight loss goal rather than be disappointed in myself AGAIN. I decided to do it differently.

This wasn’t going to be one of those “I’ll just write it down and do nothing about it” goals. This is one, where I made a plan that requires daily action: good nutrition, counting calories, keeping a food journal, doing SOME exercise daily and getting adequate sleep.

While I can’t do 10 pounds at a time, I can do daily actions, that as I measure activity, I see progress. Dropping and keeping off 35 pounds, for me, is huge progress!

So I don’t do it perfectly, somedays I’m better than other days; but it is the consistency over time that has worked.

How do you use goals to help you? Leave a comment below.

Do you see how this same technique could be used for any business or personal goal? The consistent small daily actions really make a difference. It works on everything.

Finish Strong

This is the time of year to start looking at your accomplishments for the year and what you still want to do to make this year great – to finish STRONG.

What do you need to do starting now, to make this a great year? It’s not too late to set a goal and make a plan to get great things done before 2020 ends.

The key is to decide and start!

Baffled by goals? But still want to get things done this year? Book a call here and let’s discuss a strategy to get it done!

Ciao,
Sheri

Your Daily Routine Matters

Sheri here –

How can you be more productive?  Put more in your day?  Have you tried using daily routines or habits to set yourself up for success? To help you get more done, improve your attitude, be healthier, or look your best?

Time is a scare, nonrenewable resource.  Daily routines help you make the most of this valuable resource.

Set Yourself Up for Success

Daily routines and rituals let you choose how you start and end your day to set yourself up for success.

Over the years I’ve developed certain daily routines.  Some of them have become so routine, they are programmed into my subconscious.  Things like brush my teeth, wash my face, take a shower, put on my makeup and grab something to eat before I start my day.  Maybe you do the same thing.

Some of these routines and habits work for me and others not so much.

When I reflect on how I want my day to go, I’ve realized that since I began to spend a few minutes in prayer and meditation first thing in the morning, checking in with my God, that my attitude is better.  Now I didn’t just dream up this daily practice – I heard someone else talk about how they did it and how their day was better.

Then I tried it several times and noticed the tone of my day seemed to be better and the only thing different was intentionally spending time with my spiritual source.

There are evening routines – dinner, clean up and preparation for the next day.

It might start with planning your day the night before – making certain that you have everything planned and set out so you can dress, grab and go in the morning and you know what your schedule looks like.

Those routines and habits – the ones that help us get ready for the day could have been consciously or unconsciously put into place over time.  Are you always running late?  That’s where planning the evening before sets you up for a successful day.

Making Changes to Routines

What about other tweaks to daily routines  – where do we find suggestions?

There are articles about the habits of successful people, and I bet you’ve seen them too.  Maybe you wanted their level of success; but resisted doing some of the things that they have done.

Or talk with some of your successful, productive friends about their routines for additional ideas to enhance your personal productivity.

Maybe you could try one or two of those routines – not all of them at once, but maybe adding one thing until it becomes comfortable.  Then add another.

Success requires an intention and action, starting with the routines and habits to support it.

How about you?  Do you have favorite daily routines and habits that help you be more productive – more of the person that you want to be? Share in the comments below your favorites.

Ciao,

Sheri

Create Your Values Statement

Sheri here –

Recently, I had a situation that had me confused and befuddled about the choice I needed to make.

The details aren’t important; but what is: how I made a decision, how I chose which direction to go.

My values, my personal operating system, my moral code was key in my making that decision.

Even with those guideposts, that decision, which path to take, took a LOT of soul searching, a lot of prayer and meditation.

Once I made that initial decision, which direction to go, the next steps came more easily.  Even those steps weren’t easy, but my heart knew I was moving in the right direction for ME.

What drives you to create your values statement?

You may already have a set of values, but they may not necessarily be easily visible to you.   Maybe it is time well spent to formalize them, so they are easily recognizable!

When I first formally documented my values, I was in the middle of a personal life crisis – my world as I knew it was starting to tumble.  I was feeling rudderless and needed some direction.

Somewhere I had heard that having a life purpose and values could help in situations such as mine.  I got curious.  That search was lifesaving then, some 25 years ago, and many times since.

You don’t have to wait until you have a personal crisis to create your value statement.  It just takes a decision to spend the time.

How do you create your values statement? 

Where do you start?

Start by getting quiet, thoughtful.  If you meditate, meditate.  Or take a walk or sit quietly in your favorite peaceful place.

Think about what’s important in your life.  How you want to live and act. 

These are specific things that you may want to consider – Your:

  • Spiritual relationship
  • Family and Friends
  • Passion projects – your service commitments
  • Health
  • Self-care
  • Learning
  • Honesty & integrity
  • Loyalty
  • Fun & play
  • Generosity
  • Gratitude
  • Kindness
  • Resiliency

The list goes on and on.  Each of us are different. Choose 5 or 7 key things, but no more than 10.

Then rank them!

Why rank them?  Sometimes we have conflicts in our focus or how we will spend our time.

Knowing what’s most important will guide you in making choices or where you draw boundaries.

This is a world filled with lots of choices, your values can be your filter to narrow them down.

Keep in mind, this process may take some time.  It is time well spent! 

Ciao,

Sheri

P.S. Drop a comment below if you are struggling to figure this out and need some support, I can help!

Set Your Priorities and Focus

Sheri here –

Have you ever spent time just overwhelmed with choices? And focusing on just one thing seemed impossible.

Too much to do and you don’t know where to begin! 

So, you start something entirely new!  Of course, that only makes it worse.

I have to say the last couple of weeks seemed like chaos squared.  Trying to find the focus point has been part of the problem.

Ok, I had a project I was working on and finally got it done – very successfully by my measures.  WooHoo!

But, there were so many other things demanding I spend time on them also.

How do you focus on one thing?

How do you decide what’s important?

How do you pick from all the projects that you have going on?

I don’t know about you, but I live in an overcommitted world.

I need a way to be able to prioritize, to make good choices, set boundaries and say no.

In the last couple of blogs, we spent a bit of time chatting about saying no and setting boundaries.  You can find those conversations in my blogs here and here .

Do you find it difficult to say no and set boundaries so you can focus on ONE thing?

Stop and get some clarity

One of the best ways that I’ve found to set priorities is to be very clear about my personal and business values.  My values drive my priorities and from that it drives where I spend my time.

If you’re not clear on your agenda, your priorities, and values, maybe it is time to stop and get some clarity.

Take this as an opportunity to put your relationships, your self-care, your time with your God, your service projects, your fun time and even how you spend money in perspective.  Assure that you’ve got your focus in the right spot – consistent with what is most important to you.

Setting your values and your priorities is an important self-care activity.  It might be hard to randomly say no to something, but when it is not even on your list of what’s important, it gets easier.

Then you can focus!

Ciao and hugs,

Sheri

P.S. Drop a comment below and share the top 5 things that are important to you, to your business.  The things that drives how you spend time.

P.P.S If you’re stuck, drop a comment and let me know how I can help!

Setting Your Boundaries!

Sheri here –

Last week, I talked about “just say no” in my last blog (see blog here); but, saying no when other people aren’t accustomed to you setting your boundaries is hard. Saying no is easier when you have boundaries.

When I get uncomfortable about saying “No”, I know I need to look at whether I have appropriate boundaries in place.

Do you have good boundaries in place? If so, high five and take a victory lap!

What are boundaries?

Boundaries are like the white lines on a tennis court. They set the area where the game gets played.

If a tennis ball goes outside the line, it is out of bounds. Each player is responsible for calling a ball out on their side of the net.

In personal boundary setting, it is the court where your life takes place. You are responsible for setting and enforcing the boundaries!

Setting your boundaries is letting others know how you choose to be treated.

Sometimes easier said than done, eh?!

Why does this matter?

Ever notice how you use your boundaries in everything you do? What you eat, how you spend money, who you spend time with, how you define healthy relationships, how long you tolerate toxic situations, how you treat your body. The list goes on.

Your boundaries teach others how to treat you.

When you feel people are pushing you around or violating your boundaries, it is because you haven’t called a boundary fault.

You can’t call a boundary fault, if there is no boundary.

Boundary setting is a skill.

How do you set boundaries?

Some general guidelines for setting your boundaries:

  • Paint the boundary lines for yourself and others.
  • Advise others of the boundaries, what is or is not acceptable.
  • Call something out of bounds when it occurs.
  • Observe your own boundaries.
  • Apply your boundaries consistently.

Sounds easy when you say it fast! Each of these items are worthy of an in-depth discussion of their own.

If you weren’t taught how to set boundaries or you were taught your boundaries didn’t matter, then setting boundaries is a challenge. This is where you might need some help. Send me an email and we’ll connect for next steps!

Ciao,

Sheri

P.S. How about you? Are you skilled with setting boundaries? Or do you have a way to go. Need some help? Reach out and send me a note here and we’ll figure out next steps together!

Just Say No

Sheri here –

Is it easy for you to just say no?

Or do you spend time overwhelmed by choices?  So, overwhelmed that you don’t do ANYTHING??

Or so much to do, you don’t know where to start, so you start something new.  Uh oh, am I the only one??

Or someone asks you to do something and you find it difficult to say No?

Sound at all familiar?

No is a Complete Sentence

The calendar fills up with stuff – the stuff you want to do, the stuff you need to do and the FOMO stuff.  FOMO – Fear of Missing Out.

Then something happens – it could be as simple as your stubbing your toe, literally or figuratively.

The other day, I was fixing dinner and accidentally cut my thumb.  Not bad, but there was blood involved.  For several days I realized how much I relied on that thumb and couldn’t use it.

It certainly was NOT life threatening, it was inconvenient.  I was not paying enough attention to the task at hand.  Not placing the focus on the right spot. 

I was distracted and hadn’t said NO to enough FOMO things and agendas of others.

Not enough NO.  

Certainly, it was a small inconvenience, but how soon will that overloaded calendar lead to a much larger inconvenience?

Focus on ONE thing,just ONE

Maybe you want a few peaceful moments for yourself without being tormented by indecision as to what to do next.

Maybe the problem is that you are NOT totally clear on what YOUR agenda is.  You aren’t clear on what YOUR priorities are.

How do you get that 10 minutes, that chance to focus on ONE thing?

How do you set boundaries and just say NO!

It is easier to set boundaries and say no, when you are clear on your agenda, clear on your priorities in all aspects of your life – personal and business.

If you’re crystal clear on your agenda, your priorities, and values – woohoo.  Now use them to say NO more often!!

Yes, it is easier said than done.  

This is a self-care process that starts with you

  • noticing you can’t list your top 3 – 5 personal or business priorities,
  • realizing they can help you make decisions and set boundaries,
  • willing to take the time and think about what is important to you.

If you are still stuck as to where to start, drop a comment below or an email here.

Ciao and hugs,

Sheri

P.S. Having priorities, setting boundaries and say NO is rigorous self-care! Need help doing that? Drop a comment below or drop me an email here 

Asking for Help: A Sign of Strength

Sheri here –

Asking and accepting help is the sign of strength, not weakness – it as allowing someone else to give you a gift.  Seeking assistance when you don’t know something will save you time, effort, money and maybe more.

While help is technically a four letter word, sometimes help (the word) really seems like a FOUR LETTER word – you know the one that shocks the system with its “dirty” meaning. Asking for help is NOT a “dirty” word either.

Giving and Receiving

Would you say no to a birthday or Christmas gift? Receiving is part of the natural order of things. It is half of the giving cycle.

Are you more comfortable giving than receiving? How would you feel if someone refused your gift and wouldn’t allow you to give? Would you be willing to offer again?

For many giving is a gift.  Just think, if people were unwilling to receive, what would that do for those, who wanted to give? Refusing a gift disrupts the cycle of giving and receiving.

Asking and Accepting

When we don’t ask for help or accept help – it is like saying no to a gift.

Sometimes you need help. Whether it is for a dire situation or a situation where you have a limited level of skill.

Accepting help or asking for it is not a sign of weakness.  Quite the reverse – asking and accepting help is a sign of courage and strength. 

Acknowledging where you are is one of the most courageous things you can do.  It is the first step in a new journey. 

In the environment of the pandemic, many people are reaching out to learn something new, to put something different into place or to just do something different because your environments changed.

No matter what you are doing, being open to accepting help is a good thing – it can expand your horizons. Look at help in a new way, as part of the giving cycle – as part of the natural order of the Universe.

Notice your attitude toward asking or accepting help – is it really serving you and those around you?

Allow someone else to contribute to your growth or wellbeing.  Who knows, you may be stronger in ways you can’t predict.

Go on ask, step outside your comfort zone and allow another to possibly step outside theirs.

Ciao,

Sheri

P.S. You can practice if you wish by asking me for help with asking for help – book a call here.

Emotions: A Roller Coaster Ride!

Sheri here –

This last week has been one of emotional recovery! The several weeks prior I had mentioned I was stepping way outside my comfort zone. To do that takes both energy and courage, so the emotions were surging and just wore me out.

EMOTIONS

Add to that the uncertainty and speculation about what next steps for the world around us, no wonder I’m on an emotional roller coaster.

How about you??

How have you been doing? How have you been spending your time the last weeks??

Header: THANK YOU FROM THE STAY AT HOME CREW

If you are one of the “essential workers” – BLESS YOU and THANK YOU for all that you have been doing.

Your dedication and devotion to duty is appreciated in ways that may not always be obvious.

SPENDING YOUR TIME

For the rest of us on the “Stay at Home” crew – what have you been up to over the last weeks??

Have you been

  • Learning new skills?
  • Pivoting your business?
  • Attending Zoom networking meetings?
  • Binge watching Netflix?
  • Shopping online?
  • Cooking?
  • Reaching out to long time friends?

Would love to hear what you’ve been up to!Share in the comments below how you’ve been spending your time

I’ve been doing some of all of these – but mostly doing stuff I’ve put off or things that have taken me waaay outside my comfort zone.

THE EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER

For the most part I’m ok; but I have my occasional melt down – how about you? I think given the circumstances; it is to be expected!!

This is an opportunity to give yourself some personal self-care in the midst of all the craziness!

Make that MASSIVE self-care. Be especially gentle with yourself now.

Use this as an opportunity and do some of the positive things in the list above.

In the meantime, take care and enjoy the roller coaster ride, as Mom used to say: “This too shall pass.”

Until the next time, take care.

Ciao and hugs,

Sheri

Creating Community Differently

Sheri here –

Creating Community is not easy for social, community minded individuals who are being told to observe “Social Distance” and increasingly, just stay home.

I’ve been staying quiet the last couple of weeks, watching events unfold and trying to make sense of what’s going on with the coronavirus and the ripple effects.  Trying to figure out how to help myself, my family, my clients and those around me in my communities to weather this storm.

For social creatures to be “social distanced” is difficult – so now what.  How do we manage? How do we create community differently?  We are certainly more fortunate than at any time in the past because of the tools we have available: the internet, smart phones and online apps.  We can be in touch more easily.

Creating Community

The other day, I started using one of my favorite business communication tools – Zoom meetings – to bring a group of friends together, to reunite our community.  Since we couldn’t meet for a regular dinner together, we met online.  It certainly provided comfort to all of us.

Yesterday, we paid an online visit to our grandkids and even played a game of Candyland with my son-in-law, Tyler, our proxy moving our token around the board.  A bit of normalcy in a world of social distancing.

This morning my Toastmaster’s Club met online.  It was a joy to see the smiling faces of friends.I was using a tool in a new way.

Self-Care

In today’s circumstances with continuous updates, how do we minimize the fear and look for the positive.  Ok, maybe that is a Pollyanna approach, but there is still so much that we can do.

The first thing is to take care of ourselves.  Put your oxygen mask on first.  Then we are available to see to the needs of others around us.

Selfcare includes the connection with your spiritual guide, your God.  Maybe some meditation and prayer, to find that calmer spot within. Certainly sleep, exercise and nourishment are also high on the selfcare list.

Be in Communication

Be in communication with loved ones, find out how they are and let them know you are thinking of them.  Maybe, you can extend a helping hand to those who need an errand run and cannot do it themselves. Speaking of communication, I took a recent poll in my Facebook Group“Money Talks with Sheri” about ways of adapting to life with social distancing.  The winner of the poll was for this tribe to have a community Zoom meet-up to help ease the social distancing anxiety

If you haven’t joined the Facebook Group yet, just click this link and join us in the group and create a community experience with us.

We had a community get together online within the group using Zoom.  It was quite fun!

Room for New Opportunities

While many of us can work online and can continue to show up for our work-related commitments, it may still leave us with time on our hands. 

Maybe now is the time to do some of the things that you have been putting off.  Like doing some decluttering or finishing up old projects.

Make room for new opportunities. 

Be in communication with people you haven’t talked with in a while. 

Even though you may be staying home, you don’t need to isolate.

While we may get hooked into thinking that everything around us is bleak, if you look carefully, you may find a fertile ground for a new idea or doing something in a new way.  The opportunities are there for those who can change their thinking and see old things in a new way or new things completely.

Look carefully, you never know what you might see!

Until the next time.

Ciao and hugs,

Sheri

P.S. If you need a quick shot of positive, a breath of fresh air, check out our Business Facebook page or Instagram.

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