Self-Care

Changing Relationships

Holidays

Sheri Here!

Why do Holiday self-care?

Halloween is just around the corner and then the other end of the year holidays are upon us.

The extracurricular activities pile on: the decorating, the gift buying, the volunteer projects, and the entertaining. All of these are at a pace twice that of our normal routine.

You wonder why you are tired already just thinking about it?

Holiday Self-Care Revisited

Several weeks ago I wrote a blog about creating a Holiday plan to manage your money and time: Now is the Time. It might be a helpful refresh for those two important aspects of the holidays. Feeling pinched in either area adds stress to our life which reinforces the need for holiday self-care.

Awhile back, I’d written another blog on Holiday Self-Care with some other helpful hints, that might be of value to you now. Go and check it out.

Holiday Intentions

What is your objective for the holidays? Survive, ignore, enjoy, or something different. Choose one and then decide what does that look like and what does it entail. Now you have a plan!

I think I want to enjoy a low-key season. Now what do I want to do? A little decorating, a little entertaining, a little gift exchanging and a lot of avoiding getting sick.

There have been many years that I’d get sick right around Christmas which usually meant I overshot the mark.

Rest, good food, water, and exercise are key to a healthy season. That doesn’t mean there is no sampling of the holiday special goodies or even a bake-a-thon to share with others. A little moderation is the hot ticket for the season.

Friends and Family

This is the season for friends and family. Sometimes, we are having issues with some of those folks – go where the love is. If you have choices for holiday events and one is high stress, consider avoiding it.

For many this is also a season of sad times. Be gentle with yourself – do what you can and go where the love is. If appropriate, seek outside help from a mental health professional to get through the season and heal.

Sometimes we’re in survival mode, but where possible, make this a season of peace, love, and joy. Spend time with those you care about, take it slow and get good rest.

What about you? What are your intentions for the holidays? You don’t know yet? Now might be a good time to give it some thought and get a bit of a jump on it all. Hit reply and drop me a note and share your plans with a friend.

Around Town

This weekend is the online book launch for my book: Everything I Learned About Life I Learned on Vacation. It’s happeningSunday October 30 at 4:00pm PT and I’d love you to be there. Hosted by Marie Macagno, my writing coach. Join us for some fun, a book reading and Q&A about why and how the book got written. Here’s the zoom link. Hope to see you there.

Happy Halloween and Ciao,

Sheri

Procrastination

Procrastination

Sheri here,

Last week, I wrote about one of the important elements of an abundant life – consistency.  That quality of patience, persistence and perseverance, in a word, consistency.

The Enemy of Consistency is Procrastination

That sense and attitude of “I’ll do it later, it doesn’t matter if I do it tomorrow instead of today.  I’m not hurting anyone if I put it off.”

Yet you are the person you hurt with procrastination.  It is the first cousin to sloth, which lulls us into complacency and complacency hurts us by piling things up day after day until the pile is so big it seems insurmountable.  Have you ever been there?

Getting Started

Where all the things you put off are all of a sudden too great to overcome and you are paralyzed by inaction and the fear of getting started.

So how do you start?  You just start with one thing.  I like to set a timer in these situations for 15 minutes.  After all I can do almost anything for 15 minutes.

Where do you start?  You start with one thing – maybe it is empty the trash, pick up all the dirty clothes strewn about, or maybe it is washing the dishes. Find a spot you can pickup and see a difference quickly.

Using the Timer

If the timer goes off you have three choices: 1) reset it, 2) ignore it and keep working, or 3) take a break, but set the timer.

Maybe you’ve put off doing your bills – where do you start?  Gather them all up, find a spot to sort through them and pay attention to the urgent.  Deal with the urgent first.  This too is where the timer is helpful.  Just keep resetting it until you are done.

Maybe you ran out of money before you ran out of bills, then you have some phone calls to make to the creditor to let them know you’ll be late.

Ok, now that’s done! Doesn’t if feel good knowing the pile no longer haunts you?  That you no longer need to wonder what’s in the stack and better yet, its tidy.

Ok, what’s next.  You may deserve a break – including a quick bite to eat to keep your energy up.  Now what’s the next priority?  Keeping at this you may not finish everything, but I bet you made great progress.  Now how does that look and feel?

By setting a regular schedule for everything you put off and consistently work at them, you won’t have to do a major cleanup again.

No Hot Mess Living

Isn’t living in tidy organized spaces better than squalor?  Who knew, right?!

We don’t have to be perfect, just consistently staying on top of things.  You may want to put some time in your routine for downtime – for legitimate procrastination time – the laying on the couch doing nothing or playing outside with your friends.

What your favorite downtime activity? Leave a comment and let me know.

Around Town

Now the book Everything I Learned About Life I Learned on Vacation, I got it back from the editor and it looks smashing, I still need to finish going through it.  There are a few miscellaneous pieces and parts- some of the good things, like the acknowledgements – the “thank you”.  I love thanking people.  The cover art is pretty final and the back cover verbiage is getting done.  Wow, now what?  I need to find out, too – I believe it is the formatting to get it ready to publish.  Stay tuned.  In the meantime, if you want to be on the wait list, click here.

Until the next time, may you have a blessed week.

Ciao,

Sheri

Fun is Emotional Self Care

Play

Sheri here,

What is emotional self care?  Why is fun important?

Nurturing our Emotions 

Nurturing our emotions requires becoming aware of them, then leaning into the feelings in a way that honors you and the emotion.  If you deny or ignore them, they will find a way to come out: anger, depression, stress, anxiety, or worse.*

I have found I need to feel the feelings and sometimes that is one of the “ugh, oh no – not that” moments. Set with the feelings, breath, and allow them to exist. Creativity and play somewhat offset any negativity – fun times are always helpful to make those strong feeling times easier.

I’ve spent several challenging years surrounded by negativity and sheltering in place as many of you have.  Small wonder we struggle with emotional self care.  Those of you who have been following me for any period of time know that I’ve had floods in the house, construction and illness in the family, that have challenged my sense of wellbeing.

Between feeling the feelings, a daily gratitude list – at least three things I’m grateful for, fun activities, and time dedicated to my spiritual program, I’ve regained my equilibrium.

While nurturing our whole self is important, one of the things I forget is to play, have fun, or take it easy. But I struggle trying to figure out what fun looks like sometimes.

Adult Fun for Emotional Self Care

I don’t know about you, but every now and again I need to be reminded to have fun and what it looks like.  Sometimes I have to make a list of what’s fun – joyful.  To be able to feel  happiness,  lightness, positivity, and laughter bubble up is like watching my four grandchildren play with the abandon of a child.

Then how does that translate into adult fun?  So here is the list I was recently brainstorming – which are your favorites or what is forgotten?? Hit reply and let me know.  While you are at it, tell me what’s on your fun list for the day?

  • Be creative
  • Write a story or a poem
  • Play cards or board games
  • Read a book
  • Take a walk in nature or local park
  • Write a gratitude list
  • Do some coloring
  • Draw or sketch
  • Take photographs
  • Spend time on Pinterest
  • Listen to music
  • Dance with abandon
  • Watch a funny movie
  • Engage in sports
  • Try some thing new like a recipe or a masterclass
  • Exercise, if its fun
  • Spend time with a hobby
  • Take up a new hobby
  • Knit or crochet or sew
  • Talk with a fun friend – a fun buddy
  • Read some jokes and laugh out load

While you are focusing on fun, minimize the negativity by setting boundaries. limiting the news, or deliberately choosing how to respond to situations.

Choose a focus on playful things and mentally avoid the situations that deliberately cause you pain.  Feel the feelings, but don’t go looking for them.

Nurture yourself and bring along a fun friend!

Honor those positive feelings, minimizing exposure, as much as possible to negativity.  This is self care at its finest – what’s on your list for fun today?

Around Town Here

I’ve opened a wait list for progress notifications on my book, Everything I Learned About Life I Learned on Vacation, is currently still in reviewer comment mode on its publication path. You can sign-up for the wait list here.

May you have a blessed, fun-filled week.

‘til the next time.

Ciao,

Sheri

*If you are suffering depression, anger or anxiety issues seek the appropriate help from a medical or mental health professional.

Summer is Time for Vacation

Vacation

Sheri here,

It is summer, time for vacation!

Have you taken a vacation lately?

Did it involve travel?

Was it too wonderful for words?

Did you have fun and can’t wait to do it again?

As you may know, I recently went on vacation and retreat to Vancouver Island and it was fabulous – refreshing, relaxing and rejuvenating!  All the things I want from a vacation.  But traveling can be challenging.  While my flights weren’t cancelled, I did spend 5 hours waiting for connections.

Possibly, you haven’t had a vacation in a long time – do you remember that feeling of excitement and fun from a favorite vacation in the past?

Vacation is intended to be a break from the ordinary as a restful respite.  It may be a busy or active time without the stress of every day.

Some daily self-care routines may carry over into vacation – with more space for self-nurturing.

Staycations are Vacations, Too

You could have good reason, the cost of gas for one or the challenge of travel for another, that continues to keep you at home, but you can choose to take a “Staycation”.  A vacation where you stay at home and hang out the sign calling it VACATION.

How do you approach that?  Identify the characteristics of that vacation that you loved – do you like to go places, eat out, visit friends, play at the pool or the beach, go to a museum, take pictures or take a nap?

Whatever it is, you can create a staycation and do these same types of things! Plan it like any other vacation – choose the time and the activities, put the daily chores on the back burner and enjoy.

The Objective is Fun

For instance, if you love to eat out – choose to different places than usual. It doesn’t need to be expensive – the objective is FUN.

Look around your neighborhood or the area around home and see what fun things there are to do that you haven’t visited in awhile or ever.

Be the tourist in your hometown, enjoy the small local historical museum, the walk through the nearby park with a picnic lunch at the end.

Maybe your community is like mine and is doing Concerts in the Park – GO! Make it different, make it fun.

Who knows, maybe it’s playing a favorite board game with the family and friends for the first time in a long time, a laughter filled time.

Possibly, you’ll discover something you make a part of your regular life because it is close. You’ll get that sense of freedom and relaxation that vacation brings on a mini basis.

A couple of my favorite things are a nap in the afternoon or time with a trashy novel – a complete escape from the everyday ordinary.

A staycation is your opportunity to identify what marks a meaningful break for you – you are relaxed, joyful and you recapture that connection with the things that are important.

My Book Status

In the past, I promised to keep you posted on what I’m up to around town:

The other big news I have is about my book, Everything I Learned About Life I Learned on Vacation. I have opened a wait list for publication notifications.  You can sign-up for the wait list.

May you have a blessed, fun-filled week.

‘til the next time.

Ciao,

Sheri

Venturing Outside Your Comfort Zone

Venturing Outside Your Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

Sheri here –

Unfortunately, a couple of weeks ago, I injured my right arm. Thankfully, nothing is broken, only a sprain and some pulled tendons. However, it not only changed the way I deal with everything but also prompted me to look at the way, I deal with discomfort.

Because I’m right-handed, I have to rely on my left hand… and it hasn’t been easy! Have you ever used a mouse with your opposite hand? Do you know how disorienting it is? Unbelievably.

Turn Challenges into Opportunities

So, I could approach this situation in one of two ways. I could see it as a roadblock that stops me in my tracks. Or, I could see it as an opportunity to learn something.

First, I had to recognize and embrace my feelings – sadness, frustration, and helplessness. Acknowledging the way I felt allowed me to transform my hopefully, short term disability into something more fruitful.

Life is a continuous succession of both small and large problems. It’s how we handle and recover from them that matters.

All of us have the freedom to choose the level of determination and effort we bring to every moment. We chose how we look at things. How we approach an obstacle determines how daunting we make it.

I have watched myself struggle. And in other ways, I question whether everything I’m doing is really necessary. Are there easier ways? Are there different ways to do what I have always done?

Discomfort Leads to Growth

A state of desperation could be the catalyst that sparks your ingenuity to help you move through a difficult situation in an optimal way.

See your adversities as advantages. Each difficult moment is a learning moment in its own right.

In my case, it’s driven me to embrace a vocal use of technology (which is how I’m compiling this blog). Okay, maybe you’ve been doing that forever. I haven’t!

My past experience has shown me that if I try and push through something like an injury, it takes me twice as long to recover. It’s not about pushing through the situation; it’s about adapting and not letting the situation deter you.

Here I am, trying not to feel sorry for myself but looking at ways to use the lessons I’ve learned in the past about being outside my comfort zone.

Your Dream is Not Inside Your Comfort Zone!

The place outside of your comfort zone is a place where real magic happens!

The problem starts when you get complacent. When this happens, you stop striving to achieve your goals – you stop challenging yourself.

As you start a new year, you may have created new goals, which leads you to venture outside your comfort zone.

One of my mentors Bri Seeley has said “Your dream is not inside your comfort zone.” Which means we must get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been spending the better part of this last year being uncomfortable!

To cope, I’ve relied on prayer, meditation and journaling until injuring my hand. But what else do you do to get comfortable with being uncomfortable?

What have you been doing to support yourself in this time outside your comfort zone? What are the tools that you are using to support you?

Are you sharing those feelings of discomfort with your besties?

Are you looking for new and different ways to do things?

Are you looking at the possibility of opportunity?

What are you doing?

I’d love to hear, because I could use some new tools and some new ideas. Leave a comment below and let me know!

After all, if you have a vision of any size you’re going to be spending a lot of time venturing outside your comfort zone!

‘til the next time…
Ciao,

Sheri

Let’s Finish the Year STRONG

Goals

Sheri here –

There is still time to finish STRONG for the year!

If you set goals, now is the time to review your progress against them and tweak them to make 2020 amazing, unusual but still amazing!

Not Too Late to Set Goals

Ok, so the year turned out unlike anything you planned or even could have imagined!!

Were you able to do a course correction and do something extraordinary in these crazy times?

Not too late – reviewing your goals or setting new ones can be an excellent support tool for you.

While goals are frequently considered start of the year activities, you can make and begin goals anytime. I wrote a couple of blogs (here) and (here) if you’d like more information on the “HOW to” part of goal setting.

It’s never too late or too early to set goals.

And once they are set, you can readjust them, even deliberately put them on the shelf. The important thing is to keep working goals that align with your dreams.

Review Your Progress on Your Goals

The beginning of a quarter is a great time to review progress on your goals.

Generally, at least quarterly I go back and relook at my goals and see how I’m doing. If I’m making great progress, then I put a little stretch into it. If I’m lagging behind, I may reset the goal to keep myself motivated.

No matter what, I keep working on them.

One of the goals that I’ve made every year for about the last 5 years has been to lose weight. And over the last 5 years, I’ve probably lost and kept off about 35 pounds, including during this crazy covid year.

When I decided 5 years ago to set a weight loss goal rather than be disappointed in myself AGAIN. I decided to do it differently.

This wasn’t going to be one of those “I’ll just write it down and do nothing about it” goals. This is one, where I made a plan that requires daily action: good nutrition, counting calories, keeping a food journal, doing SOME exercise daily and getting adequate sleep.

While I can’t do 10 pounds at a time, I can do daily actions, that as I measure activity, I see progress. Dropping and keeping off 35 pounds, for me, is huge progress!

So I don’t do it perfectly, somedays I’m better than other days; but it is the consistency over time that has worked.

How do you use goals to help you? Leave a comment below.

Do you see how this same technique could be used for any business or personal goal? The consistent small daily actions really make a difference. It works on everything.

Finish Strong

This is the time of year to start looking at your accomplishments for the year and what you still want to do to make this year great – to finish STRONG.

What do you need to do starting now, to make this a great year? It’s not too late to set a goal and make a plan to get great things done before 2020 ends.

The key is to decide and start!

Baffled by goals? But still want to get things done this year? Book a call here and let’s discuss a strategy to get it done!

Ciao,
Sheri

Be You - Be Authentic

Be You – Be Authentic

Authenticity

Sheri here –

Be you – be authentic.  When you are authentic, you have no competition.

That wisdom applies whether you are in business or not.

When you are your authentic self, you are happier.  When you are trying to fit into someone else’s mold for you, it doesn’t necessarily fit right.

Being Authentic is an Attraction

When you are your authentic you, you attract those you are meant to have in your life – as friends or clients.

Ok, maybe someone has said: you really need to do this.  Yes, maybe it is that step outside your comfort zone that you really need to be making.

Heaven’s knows, I have taken some of those steps – I wouldn’t be sober today, if I hadn’t listened to some of that coaching.

Yet, if it’s to put on 4 inch heels and you are an athletic shoe kinda gal, maybe it’s a misstep?  Sure, try it – see if it fits; but if you bust your butt or break your ankle maybe not.

Maybe it does fit but sometimes we don’t see immediately when it is an off step.  But when we finally recognize that it not really, really us, then it is time to correct it!!

Reclaim Your Authentic Self

Earlier this week, I decided that it was time to go back to my RED nails. Back to the authentic me!⁠

Up until about 18 months ago, I’d worn red nail polish ALL the time! For about 30 years, all the time.

It was my statement, as a well groomed woman in a Corporate Managerial position, that I was a woman and proud of it.  I was professional; but I wore red nail polish.
⁠
About 18 months ago, I did a brand photo shoot for my business – I loved, loved, loved how the pics turned out. Starla Fortunato did a fabulous job with the pics and Sybil Henry did an equally fabulous job styling me.⁠
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One of the style features was a change in nail polish – a beautiful lavendary pink….Loved it; and it photographed so beautifully. And it was ON brand.
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I’ve worn that lavendary pink polish since then. But you know what? I wore my red nail polish for over 30 years before that – it IS part of WHO I am. I didn’t realize until earlier this week, when I repolished my nails red how much I missed that piece of me.⁠
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Goodness knows in today’s times, other familiar pieces of me are modified. Some I may do better without; but this one – I’m taking back.
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How about you?  What small pieces of you have you given up? Which ones can you let go for good? Which ones are you taking back NOW? ⁠Share in the comments below!

Now that you’ve started to think about it – what are you going to do about it?

The bigger question might be when??

Ciao,
Sheri

Your Daily Routine Matters

Routines

Sheri here –

How can you be more productive?  Put more in your day?  Have you tried using daily routines or habits to set yourself up for success? To help you get more done, improve your attitude, be healthier, or look your best?

Time is a scare, nonrenewable resource.  Daily routines help you make the most of this valuable resource.

Set Yourself Up for Success

Daily routines and rituals let you choose how you start and end your day to set yourself up for success.

Over the years I’ve developed certain daily routines.  Some of them have become so routine, they are programmed into my subconscious.  Things like brush my teeth, wash my face, take a shower, put on my makeup and grab something to eat before I start my day.  Maybe you do the same thing.

Some of these routines and habits work for me and others not so much.

When I reflect on how I want my day to go, I’ve realized that since I began to spend a few minutes in prayer and meditation first thing in the morning, checking in with my God, that my attitude is better.  Now I didn’t just dream up this daily practice – I heard someone else talk about how they did it and how their day was better.

Then I tried it several times and noticed the tone of my day seemed to be better and the only thing different was intentionally spending time with my spiritual source.

There are evening routines – dinner, clean up and preparation for the next day.

It might start with planning your day the night before – making certain that you have everything planned and set out so you can dress, grab and go in the morning and you know what your schedule looks like.

Those routines and habits – the ones that help us get ready for the day could have been consciously or unconsciously put into place over time.  Are you always running late?  That’s where planning the evening before sets you up for a successful day.

Making Changes to Routines

What about other tweaks to daily routines  – where do we find suggestions?

There are articles about the habits of successful people, and I bet you’ve seen them too.  Maybe you wanted their level of success; but resisted doing some of the things that they have done.

Or talk with some of your successful, productive friends about their routines for additional ideas to enhance your personal productivity.

Maybe you could try one or two of those routines – not all of them at once, but maybe adding one thing until it becomes comfortable.  Then add another.

Success requires an intention and action, starting with the routines and habits to support it.

How about you?  Do you have favorite daily routines and habits that help you be more productive – more of the person that you want to be? Share in the comments below your favorites.

Ciao,

Sheri

Create Your Values Statement

Values

Sheri here –

Recently, I had a situation that had me confused and befuddled about the choice I needed to make.

The details aren’t important; but what is: how I made a decision, how I chose which direction to go.

My values, my personal operating system, my moral code was key in my making that decision.

Even with those guideposts, that decision, which path to take, took a LOT of soul searching, a lot of prayer and meditation.

Once I made that initial decision, which direction to go, the next steps came more easily.  Even those steps weren’t easy, but my heart knew I was moving in the right direction for ME.

What drives you to create your values statement?

You may already have a set of values, but they may not necessarily be easily visible to you.   Maybe it is time well spent to formalize them, so they are easily recognizable!

When I first formally documented my values, I was in the middle of a personal life crisis – my world as I knew it was starting to tumble.  I was feeling rudderless and needed some direction.

Somewhere I had heard that having a life purpose and values could help in situations such as mine.  I got curious.  That search was lifesaving then, some 25 years ago, and many times since.

You don’t have to wait until you have a personal crisis to create your value statement.  It just takes a decision to spend the time.

How do you create your values statement? 

Where do you start?

Start by getting quiet, thoughtful.  If you meditate, meditate.  Or take a walk or sit quietly in your favorite peaceful place.

Think about what’s important in your life.  How you want to live and act. 

These are specific things that you may want to consider – Your:

  • Spiritual relationship
  • Family and Friends
  • Passion projects – your service commitments
  • Health
  • Self-care
  • Learning
  • Honesty & integrity
  • Loyalty
  • Fun & play
  • Generosity
  • Gratitude
  • Kindness
  • Resiliency

The list goes on and on.  Each of us are different. Choose 5 or 7 key things, but no more than 10.

Then rank them!

Why rank them?  Sometimes we have conflicts in our focus or how we will spend our time.

Knowing what’s most important will guide you in making choices or where you draw boundaries.

This is a world filled with lots of choices, your values can be your filter to narrow them down.

Keep in mind, this process may take some time.  It is time well spent! 

Ciao,

Sheri

P.S. Drop a comment below if you are struggling to figure this out and need some support, I can help!

Set Your Priorities and Focus

Priorities

Sheri here –

Have you ever spent time just overwhelmed with choices? And focusing on just one thing seemed impossible.

Too much to do and you don’t know where to begin! 

So, you start something entirely new!  Of course, that only makes it worse.

I have to say the last couple of weeks seemed like chaos squared.  Trying to find the focus point has been part of the problem.

Ok, I had a project I was working on and finally got it done – very successfully by my measures.  WooHoo!

But, there were so many other things demanding I spend time on them also.

How do you focus on one thing?

How do you decide what’s important?

How do you pick from all the projects that you have going on?

I don’t know about you, but I live in an overcommitted world.

I need a way to be able to prioritize, to make good choices, set boundaries and say no.

In the last couple of blogs, we spent a bit of time chatting about saying no and setting boundaries.  You can find those conversations in my blogs here and here .

Do you find it difficult to say no and set boundaries so you can focus on ONE thing?

Stop and get some clarity

One of the best ways that I’ve found to set priorities is to be very clear about my personal and business values.  My values drive my priorities and from that it drives where I spend my time.

If you’re not clear on your agenda, your priorities, and values, maybe it is time to stop and get some clarity.

Take this as an opportunity to put your relationships, your self-care, your time with your God, your service projects, your fun time and even how you spend money in perspective.  Assure that you’ve got your focus in the right spot – consistent with what is most important to you.

Setting your values and your priorities is an important self-care activity.  It might be hard to randomly say no to something, but when it is not even on your list of what’s important, it gets easier.

Then you can focus!

Ciao and hugs,

Sheri

P.S. Drop a comment below and share the top 5 things that are important to you, to your business.  The things that drives how you spend time.

P.P.S If you’re stuck, drop a comment and let me know how I can help!

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